Back in August I lost my brother to a massive heart attack. I had a step brother that I never lived with and many of my friends didn't know I had. We were separated by ten years and nearly two thousand miles. Not until recently have I found myself wanting to see him, call him and just have him present. Even though he wasn't ever around for a good portion of my life, except for the past few years as we grew closer in my adulthood.
The other morning, not more than a few moments before I woke to go to work did I see him. As my body began to awake by my internal clock and I could feel the pain of waking I went into a quick dream. One that I'd like to share with you.
I was in a car traveling along a beautiful highway sitting comfortably as a passenger in a driver-less car. It was a warm, picture perfect day. The road I traveled was surrounded by an angelic blend of blues, greens and greys. The car was traveling down a road the sliced through a vibrant forest of towering trees, with a large mountain range set behind and nestled below it all was a pristine lake.
As I turned my attention from the heavenly sight back into the car with a car without a driver, I noticed that I was no longer alone. I had been joined by my brother who was now sitting behind the wheel. Because it was a dream I don't remember what was said exactly, but I remember telling him how much I missed him and how much hurt I felt knowing that my big bro was gone. For what felt like hours I sat in the car with him, he felt near, present and I remember actually physically crying as my alarm went off to wake me up.
Just as I began to awake and leave the presence of him he looked at me, and in his loving, big brother tone, said to me: "I'm here. I'll always be near and I'll always be with you." Then I woke up. Sweating and wiping the tears from my face a grew confident and loved.
I share this with you for two reasons. One, I've come to realize (and I'm man enough to share this to all two follower - Thanks Mom and Mom's friend) that there is nothing more refreshing than a good cry. Although this was only brief, it's a relieving expression that we often associate with negative, but why?
Secondly, I share this with you, because I'm now twenty seven years. If you're like me, many of your friends are engaged or just getting engaged...and according to Facebook this week, four friends got engaged this week. But if you're like me you might be struggling with the loss of a loved one, or have someone in your life who is ill or struggling with life. Maybe you're losing your grip on uncontrollable aspects of your life or projects at work. Maybe the Christmas season, and barrage of jewelry commercials, is making you lonely.
Regardless, the dream reminded me that I'm not alone, far from it actually. Although I miss my big bro, he's very much with me. Maybe even more near now than he ever was. The dream was an excellent reminder that no matter where we are in our lives, we aren't alone along our journey. It just took a dream with an angel behind the wheel to remind me that when we feel the farthest from a loved one who has passed, or from our friends/ family or even alone from God that there truly is always someone looking over you.
12.09.2012
9.09.2012
Jump roping, bowling pin juggling, truths of Grace
A couple of weeks ago I was at the rec and I was stretching in an area away from everyone. I shared the space with a guy who would randomly break into an impromptu dance party. His music from his iPod was so loud that it over powered the music I had playing through my headphones. He'd push out a quick set with the dumbbells and break it down like he was a backup dancer at a hip hop show or a member of a rec center boy band.
I sat, stretching, baffled by what was happening. All I could do was laugh in my head, and make jokes, of how incredibly redonkulous he looked. Then it hit me moments later as his dance moves evolved into a modified jump rope motion. He was dancing, but was also incorporating an interval jump rope set in between sets, minus one thing: The jump rope.
How easy is it for us to see something and think one thing and not even begin to understand what is happening before us.
Like with Christ,we don't know where He is leading us, let alone what is happening before us. He wants into our lives, yet often times we try it alone, without His presence
Last month I was at the FEST in Cleveland and took part in an XLT, Eucharistic Adoration, in the Chapel. Bishop Gries gave a powerful testament of allowing Christ in our lives.
There was a man on the interstate who was pulled over by a trooper for speeding. The officer approached the vehicle of the man and noticed in the backseat a gallon of gasoline, four bowling pins, matches and a wig. He asked the driver why he had such random items in his possession. The driver replied that he was a clown in the circus in town and his main trick was juggling bowling pins that were lit on fire.
The officer, who thought he had heard every excuse in his days of patrolling the highways, asked the driver to prove it. The driver exited his car, lit a fire on the ends of the bowling pins and began juggling on the side of the highway for the officer.
A man who was driving with his wife slowed down as he took notice to what was happening to the man who had been pulled over. He turned to his wife and said, "If that's some sort of field sobriety check then I'm screwed. I quit drinking."
We all see events and chapters in our lives differently then what is truly happening to us. How it is effecting us. How we are growing physically, mentally and spiritually. How it is forcing us to grow closer to the Lord. We find ourselves confused and often times overwhelmed by what we see and not what the Lord wants us to see. It's at those moments that we must ask the Lord to enter into our hearts and we must force ourselves to listen to Him. Those are the times we must seek our His grace and feed our spirit by receiving Him through the Eucharist. Sit before Him and ask His forgiveness, seek out His strength and courage. Place yourself in His presence and adore Him.
So many people, especially young adults, try so hard to create careers, begin a new life, start families and take a stab at trying to be a big kid. They strive to work their way up the corporate ladder with reckless abandon. Spend weekends exploring the pubs and clubs of the city on a hunt, much like explorers of the African Serengeti in search for wild prey. They spend countless rounds a night in pursuit of that endangered species...someone sane, without baggage, that will love them and make it their goal to always make them happy.
Yet we don't seem to take the time to fine tune the relationship that means the most. To take a break from the machine that is our routine, to grow deeper in the one place in our life that will actually bring the love and happiness we so desperately need and that's through our relationship with Christ.
Much like the guy dancing during his work out, and the husband in the car passing by the juggler, we all see what is in front of us, but fail to go deeper or try to see past what is happening to try and grasp the reality of what's going on. Ultimately forcing us to remember what it is we need most...a relationship with Christ. Instead of focusing more on advancing your career or picking up that girl at the bar on Saturday, and all those other things that make us temporarily happy. Try to focus on God's Grace and letting it enter in your life. See the endless possibilities of a life of happiness from now through eternity.
Until next time...
I sat, stretching, baffled by what was happening. All I could do was laugh in my head, and make jokes, of how incredibly redonkulous he looked. Then it hit me moments later as his dance moves evolved into a modified jump rope motion. He was dancing, but was also incorporating an interval jump rope set in between sets, minus one thing: The jump rope.
How easy is it for us to see something and think one thing and not even begin to understand what is happening before us.
Like with Christ,we don't know where He is leading us, let alone what is happening before us. He wants into our lives, yet often times we try it alone, without His presence
Last month I was at the FEST in Cleveland and took part in an XLT, Eucharistic Adoration, in the Chapel. Bishop Gries gave a powerful testament of allowing Christ in our lives.
There was a man on the interstate who was pulled over by a trooper for speeding. The officer approached the vehicle of the man and noticed in the backseat a gallon of gasoline, four bowling pins, matches and a wig. He asked the driver why he had such random items in his possession. The driver replied that he was a clown in the circus in town and his main trick was juggling bowling pins that were lit on fire.
The officer, who thought he had heard every excuse in his days of patrolling the highways, asked the driver to prove it. The driver exited his car, lit a fire on the ends of the bowling pins and began juggling on the side of the highway for the officer.
A man who was driving with his wife slowed down as he took notice to what was happening to the man who had been pulled over. He turned to his wife and said, "If that's some sort of field sobriety check then I'm screwed. I quit drinking."
We all see events and chapters in our lives differently then what is truly happening to us. How it is effecting us. How we are growing physically, mentally and spiritually. How it is forcing us to grow closer to the Lord. We find ourselves confused and often times overwhelmed by what we see and not what the Lord wants us to see. It's at those moments that we must ask the Lord to enter into our hearts and we must force ourselves to listen to Him. Those are the times we must seek our His grace and feed our spirit by receiving Him through the Eucharist. Sit before Him and ask His forgiveness, seek out His strength and courage. Place yourself in His presence and adore Him.
So many people, especially young adults, try so hard to create careers, begin a new life, start families and take a stab at trying to be a big kid. They strive to work their way up the corporate ladder with reckless abandon. Spend weekends exploring the pubs and clubs of the city on a hunt, much like explorers of the African Serengeti in search for wild prey. They spend countless rounds a night in pursuit of that endangered species...someone sane, without baggage, that will love them and make it their goal to always make them happy.
Yet we don't seem to take the time to fine tune the relationship that means the most. To take a break from the machine that is our routine, to grow deeper in the one place in our life that will actually bring the love and happiness we so desperately need and that's through our relationship with Christ.
Much like the guy dancing during his work out, and the husband in the car passing by the juggler, we all see what is in front of us, but fail to go deeper or try to see past what is happening to try and grasp the reality of what's going on. Ultimately forcing us to remember what it is we need most...a relationship with Christ. Instead of focusing more on advancing your career or picking up that girl at the bar on Saturday, and all those other things that make us temporarily happy. Try to focus on God's Grace and letting it enter in your life. See the endless possibilities of a life of happiness from now through eternity.
Until next time...
9.05.2012
I fought a blind man ... and lost
Have you ever been at a sporting event, concert or even walking the streets of New York City and become overwhelmed by the chaos of trying to walk around? That certain time when there's so much going on and everyone is walking in every which way, but one that makes sense? Then just like that, you snap. You grow angry, anxious and aggravated.
There was an instance when I was at an outdoor festival up in Cleveland, a Christian event to make this story even better, and it became crowded. There were folks walking in every direction, bumping into one another and were without a care in the world for anyone outside of their own personalbubble. To make things worse, I was there all day working at three different locations, all strategically placed to cause me to just erupt with frustration or eventually collapse with exhaustion. Either way, it didn't help that it was also a bajillion degrees out.
I figured the only thing at that time that could calm me down was a beer, but since it was a Christian event there was none, but a Johnsonville brat seemed to take a close second. I found myself waiting in a never ending line for one fresh off the world's longest grill. As I neared the end a group of people came to join the person ahead of me; five people to be exact. I grew livid and was screaming insanities in my head. Then this one man joined them and bumped into me, causing me to leave my spot and fall from the line. If I wasn't already at my breaking point, this was the final straw.
In my head I thought to myself many things, many of the adjectives I used were only four lettered. I thought to myself Look at this guy! Is he a jerk? Does he just not care? Is he blind? How could he not see me? . It was at the time I was about to confront him - "Hey chief, ya blind? Did ya not see me or are you just that ignorant..." - that I quickly learned how I was actually the one who was the jerk.
As I bit my lip, he turned to apologize. His hat blocked most of his face and his eyes hid behind his large dark sunglasses as he glared over me. He had his right arm locked with the woman next to him, most likely his wife. In his left hand...a thin white stick with a red tip. The man who had bumped into me, the man who caused me to grow angered, was blind. He could not see me. Yet although he was the one in line who physically could not see, I was the one in all reality who was blind.
Christ teaches us that we are always in his presence even when we are blind. In the book of Psalms it says "I was stupid and could not understand; I was like a brute beast in your presence. Yet I am always with you; you take hold of my right hand (Psalm 73: 22-23)."
He reminds us time and time again to open our eyes - physically and spiritually - to hear His message. The big guy calls us to remain compassionate and understanding, even when it just drives us crazy. Whether it's at a large event like the one in my story, on the highway in rush hour or even with that one person who drives us the craziest.
As we "neither know, nor understand; as we wander about in darkness, and it seems all the world’s foundations shake (Psalms 82:5)" we are called to continue to search for love and compassion. We are reminded in Proverbs that "The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know on what they stumble (Proverbs 4:19)." We all stumble. We all grow angry. We all are led into darkness. But we must remember that it is then, when grow blind, grow angered, lonely, tired, fill in how you feel today, that we are called to open our eyes and trust in the Lord. He tells us as we stumble "My son, to my words be attentive, to my sayings incline your ear; Let them not slip from your sight, keep them within your heart; For they are life to those who find them (Proverbs 4:20-22)."
A few moments after the man apologized I got my brat and I took it to a nearby park. For a half hour I sat on a bench, devoured my brat and sipped my water as I began to pray. I grew relaxed and was at peace. It was hard to imagine at that moment in time how I could let myself to grow that angry and ignorant...especially at Jesus-Stock. Yet, I chose to be driven by my anger to be led blindly. It just took almost picking a fight with someone who was actually blind, to show me that.
8.20.2012
Adventure, the new endangered species
What happened to the days of adventure? Those summer days as a kid where the only time you were home was for breakfast, dinner and bed? Where the sun was your clock and sun down meant be home before it was too late. Those days where kids actually played outside. Your imagination was your source of entertainment, pick up games of ball with the neighborhood kids was your gaming system and it was alright for young men to get in trouble for acting like a boy and not be given a title of hyper active, A.D.D or A.D.H.D.
Those days of old where the ice cream truck was driven by a cute college girl that as a young man you could only dream of one day having as your girlfriend. The days where you rode your bike outside, sought out adventure and some days even got dirty.
Just the other day the ice cream truck drove by and I was excited to see the beautiful college coed, but it was a middle aged, over weight balding guy. When you want to turn on the TV for some music you no longer turn to MTV - Music Television - you must order MTV 2 or MTV 3 for that, and on the topic of television there is no longer history on the History Channel; that's what H2 is for now. Ball fields have grow dustier and not because the drought, but because of the dust piled up due to the lack of use. The newest item added to the endangered species list is adventure, soon to be followed by imagination.
My point is this, we as a society seem to lack that drive for adventure. Nearly 81% of all high school age girls own a Northface jacket and 95% of college girls own two of the same style, but I'm willing to bet if you polled the adventure-wannabees less than a quarter of them actually do anything physical outside in the cold months (all statistics are made up and based off years in ministry and attending a private college).
The only mountains we seem to climb are the mountain of files piling up on our desks and the stack of bills at home. Our only escape away from the stresses of being an adult is plopping down and watching "reality" TV that is anything but reality. We gawk over shows on the travel channel with beautiful white sandy beeches on exotic islands, we DVR episodes of house hunters to see the houses we'll never own, we fantasize of adventures involving fighting bad guys or romanticize of finding the love of our lives by watching a chick flick or newest Stallone movie. But most of us never experience any of it, because we're plugged into either a computer, a phone, an iPad or some other electrical device that has become our life. We've lost our will to truly live life and seek out adventure. We've stopped listening to the inner child that has, for years, been screaming for your attention.
In Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13 is says: “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to heal; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…I recognized that there is nothing better than to rejoice and to do well during life — (for) this is a gift of God (paraphrased).”
Just over a week ago I lost my brother. He died from what we believe was a heart attack. In all the pain of what has happened I realized he taught me a great lesson on how to live life. It wasn't until an uplifting conversation with my spiritual director and hours of discernment as I began writing a eulogy for his funeral that I listened to his message.
He taught that if you’re unhappy with where your life is heading and have become beaten down by it's draining ways, life’s way too short, each day too precious, to allow it to slip from your grasp and prevent you from doing the things you want most. He did just that. The last year of his life he gave up his job, moved out of his home and left town just to travel, to seek out adventure.
He took time to do the things he wanted to do before he died. Against the judgement, and opinions, of my Dad and other loved ones in his life he did as much as he could, knowing that he was young and that he didn't know when his time would come. And in my humble opinion, there is no more righteous of a way to leave this place. For I believe with all the love in my heart, he is sitting up in those pearly gates of Heaven smiling, watching down on us and saying… “I ate and I drank and I enjoyed all the good of all of life’s toil...(for) this is a gift of God and I lived it until my final days." He recognized that there was nothing better, nothing that made him more glad than to live life well (paraphrased Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13).
Quoting Emilio Estevez, the Mighty Duck man himself: "You don't choose a life; you live one." Start living yours today. Climb those mountains. Unplug yourself from electronics and plug yourself into adventure. Seek out those white sandy beaches only a Sandals commercial can bring you. Travel to far off lands to eat those disgusting dishes those guys on the food network bring you. Begin living your life today and worry about tomorrow as it comes to you.
Until next time...
Those days of old where the ice cream truck was driven by a cute college girl that as a young man you could only dream of one day having as your girlfriend. The days where you rode your bike outside, sought out adventure and some days even got dirty.
Just the other day the ice cream truck drove by and I was excited to see the beautiful college coed, but it was a middle aged, over weight balding guy. When you want to turn on the TV for some music you no longer turn to MTV - Music Television - you must order MTV 2 or MTV 3 for that, and on the topic of television there is no longer history on the History Channel; that's what H2 is for now. Ball fields have grow dustier and not because the drought, but because of the dust piled up due to the lack of use. The newest item added to the endangered species list is adventure, soon to be followed by imagination.
My point is this, we as a society seem to lack that drive for adventure. Nearly 81% of all high school age girls own a Northface jacket and 95% of college girls own two of the same style, but I'm willing to bet if you polled the adventure-wannabees less than a quarter of them actually do anything physical outside in the cold months (all statistics are made up and based off years in ministry and attending a private college).
The only mountains we seem to climb are the mountain of files piling up on our desks and the stack of bills at home. Our only escape away from the stresses of being an adult is plopping down and watching "reality" TV that is anything but reality. We gawk over shows on the travel channel with beautiful white sandy beeches on exotic islands, we DVR episodes of house hunters to see the houses we'll never own, we fantasize of adventures involving fighting bad guys or romanticize of finding the love of our lives by watching a chick flick or newest Stallone movie. But most of us never experience any of it, because we're plugged into either a computer, a phone, an iPad or some other electrical device that has become our life. We've lost our will to truly live life and seek out adventure. We've stopped listening to the inner child that has, for years, been screaming for your attention.
In Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13 is says: “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to heal; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…I recognized that there is nothing better than to rejoice and to do well during life — (for) this is a gift of God (paraphrased).”
Just over a week ago I lost my brother. He died from what we believe was a heart attack. In all the pain of what has happened I realized he taught me a great lesson on how to live life. It wasn't until an uplifting conversation with my spiritual director and hours of discernment as I began writing a eulogy for his funeral that I listened to his message.
He taught that if you’re unhappy with where your life is heading and have become beaten down by it's draining ways, life’s way too short, each day too precious, to allow it to slip from your grasp and prevent you from doing the things you want most. He did just that. The last year of his life he gave up his job, moved out of his home and left town just to travel, to seek out adventure.
He took time to do the things he wanted to do before he died. Against the judgement, and opinions, of my Dad and other loved ones in his life he did as much as he could, knowing that he was young and that he didn't know when his time would come. And in my humble opinion, there is no more righteous of a way to leave this place. For I believe with all the love in my heart, he is sitting up in those pearly gates of Heaven smiling, watching down on us and saying… “I ate and I drank and I enjoyed all the good of all of life’s toil...(for) this is a gift of God and I lived it until my final days." He recognized that there was nothing better, nothing that made him more glad than to live life well (paraphrased Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13).
Quoting Emilio Estevez, the Mighty Duck man himself: "You don't choose a life; you live one." Start living yours today. Climb those mountains. Unplug yourself from electronics and plug yourself into adventure. Seek out those white sandy beaches only a Sandals commercial can bring you. Travel to far off lands to eat those disgusting dishes those guys on the food network bring you. Begin living your life today and worry about tomorrow as it comes to you.
Until next time...
7.31.2012
The legend of Dutch Hagar
This is a bit different from my usual blogging, but is a short story about a made up persona I created one night while wing-manning a buddy of mine. We developed a story that he was Amish and on Rumspringa. He pulled it off with his long, curly Amish-esque hair and lumberjack beard, complimented with a white button up collard shirt. Long story short, and a whole slew of numbers later, it worked. So I decided to share with the world, and all who read this (Thanks Mom), the legend of Dutch Hagar. Enjoy!
The gallant fable of Dutch Hagar (pronounced hay-gar) goes back to the days of the Old Country; wherever that may be. It can easily be said that since Good ol’ Dutch there has been no such man ever to walk the cobblestone roads of his old-world town. Since those black and white era days there has yet to be a man to grace the dirt of this world who could live up to the heroic tale of a life in which this man lived so many years ago.
Young Dutch was raised by a modest family, in a modest home, of modest means, but given gifts that were anything but modest. As a young boy he moseyed about his village with the common folk. As a young man he was known to often wander the forests, that lined his town, for days at a time where he would wrestle bears, sing with birds and make the tiniest of creatures smile, even the old wise owl. Young Hagar graduated the top of his class and was accepted to Oxford…a century before it was founded.
Some have been quoted to say that his moral fiber was so powerfully potent that vegetables feared him, vagabonds found optimism and the faint of heart grew strong. It was once reported that during a weeks stay in a Peruvian prison he dropped the soap, and inmates grabbed their ankles. He’s stopped wars with his drinking songs. United cultures with his wit. And ended many marriages with his Charm.
An old wife tells a tale that the town doctor, who delivered him, shared that during his birth he entered this world with a shot of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. His beard was on the endangered species list. Pangaea’s division was the direct result of him wanting to leave land to try out his sea legs and explore the oceans.
While cornered in a dimly lit French tavern at knifepoint he was challenged to an intense staring competition with a blind man, and won. His organ donor card also lists his beard.* Mona Lisa once made a claim that he would have been the most beautiful woman a paintbrush has ever created, only if he would have let someone paint his portrait.
During his life he consumed so much wealth that it has been said that had Warren Buffet been alive, he would have called on him for financial advice…on a separate note, Al gore did not invent the Internet…Dutch did, at age twelve. Interestingly enough, Dutch did not invent the Dutch Oven, but he did create the Rumspringa Razzmatazz, which consists of churning butter, a bucket of raspberries and a high-speed buggy chase. Legend states that while out on a hike in the Canadian Rockies he came across a grizzly bear that caught sight of him and quickly began to play dead.
The only flaw that has ever been reported of Dutch was that he didn’t possess any, except one could argue that if he had one it would be that of his predecessor S.R. Haggar who, after experiencing Rumspringa for a summer, had trouble getting his lazy sass, grizzly bear self out of bed by noon. But the good news for good ol’ Dutch is that in every adventure he journeyed, in every challenge he chased down and every pub he drank through, from Singapore to New York, he had the power of the bulldog face, an array of funky white boy dance moves and his token, superhero motto, “I need this.”
So we raise a glass and toast our dear friend Dutch. That when the cheer is flowing and friends are glowing he may make his signature entrance and rule the room as there is a little bit of Dutch in all of us. Cheers.
Until next time...
The gallant fable of Dutch Hagar (pronounced hay-gar) goes back to the days of the Old Country; wherever that may be. It can easily be said that since Good ol’ Dutch there has been no such man ever to walk the cobblestone roads of his old-world town. Since those black and white era days there has yet to be a man to grace the dirt of this world who could live up to the heroic tale of a life in which this man lived so many years ago.
Young Dutch was raised by a modest family, in a modest home, of modest means, but given gifts that were anything but modest. As a young boy he moseyed about his village with the common folk. As a young man he was known to often wander the forests, that lined his town, for days at a time where he would wrestle bears, sing with birds and make the tiniest of creatures smile, even the old wise owl. Young Hagar graduated the top of his class and was accepted to Oxford…a century before it was founded.
Some have been quoted to say that his moral fiber was so powerfully potent that vegetables feared him, vagabonds found optimism and the faint of heart grew strong. It was once reported that during a weeks stay in a Peruvian prison he dropped the soap, and inmates grabbed their ankles. He’s stopped wars with his drinking songs. United cultures with his wit. And ended many marriages with his Charm.
An old wife tells a tale that the town doctor, who delivered him, shared that during his birth he entered this world with a shot of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. His beard was on the endangered species list. Pangaea’s division was the direct result of him wanting to leave land to try out his sea legs and explore the oceans.
While cornered in a dimly lit French tavern at knifepoint he was challenged to an intense staring competition with a blind man, and won. His organ donor card also lists his beard.* Mona Lisa once made a claim that he would have been the most beautiful woman a paintbrush has ever created, only if he would have let someone paint his portrait.
During his life he consumed so much wealth that it has been said that had Warren Buffet been alive, he would have called on him for financial advice…on a separate note, Al gore did not invent the Internet…Dutch did, at age twelve. Interestingly enough, Dutch did not invent the Dutch Oven, but he did create the Rumspringa Razzmatazz, which consists of churning butter, a bucket of raspberries and a high-speed buggy chase. Legend states that while out on a hike in the Canadian Rockies he came across a grizzly bear that caught sight of him and quickly began to play dead.
The only flaw that has ever been reported of Dutch was that he didn’t possess any, except one could argue that if he had one it would be that of his predecessor S.R. Haggar who, after experiencing Rumspringa for a summer, had trouble getting his lazy sass, grizzly bear self out of bed by noon. But the good news for good ol’ Dutch is that in every adventure he journeyed, in every challenge he chased down and every pub he drank through, from Singapore to New York, he had the power of the bulldog face, an array of funky white boy dance moves and his token, superhero motto, “I need this.”
So we raise a glass and toast our dear friend Dutch. That when the cheer is flowing and friends are glowing he may make his signature entrance and rule the room as there is a little bit of Dutch in all of us. Cheers.
Until next time...
7.16.2012
25 years of folklores and record stores
Patience. What a stern word. It's disciplined, deserving respect for anyone who can proudly boast that that word would, and could, describe such a person. Patience, is something we all want, and most wish was a skill they possessed in their bag of tricks, myself included.
Think about how tense you are driving the highway to work as others speed past you, hurried and on their way to work. How anxious and unresponsive a boss or coworker can be because they are desperately in need of a call back or correspondence from a counterpart. Or if you're that person, who like me, had waited month after month for nearly a year to get that job offer after umpteen final interview attempts. Patience. As beautifully necessary to survive, it flat out sucks.
The other weekend I worked a community arts and music festival. I met this woman who is eighty one years old. Twenty five years ago she listened to a band that was taking the stage as the last act of this year's event. She had told me that her and her husband heard this band play way back when and they performed a childhood favorite; a folk song that she remembered her Mom playing for her during early childhood, a song that meant so much to her. Since then she has yet to hear it played.
Twenty five years she searched record stores and music shops. For two and a half decades she sought out this childhood memory, but to no avail. Her husband told me in his delicately seasoned voice, from behind his wide black rimmed sunglasses, that they had called this band not too long ago to see if they'd play this one song for her...and they did. After twenty five years of what she had claimed was "completely worth it" she got what she had waited for. Twenty five years. That is patience.
Now just three weeks at my new job I look back at my lack of patience during nearly a year of searching and stressing for a job, a future and a chance of being a big kid again. I lacked patience. I wanted it now and I wanted it my way.
This story of the folk singing eighty one year old lady on a daunting two decade quest truly lives out the early message of Psalm 40.
"Surely, I wait for the Lord; who bends down to me and hears my cry, draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay, sets my feet upon rock, steadies my steps."
How often do we forget that all we must do is put our trust in someone so much greater, the most divine and the creator of our lives. Day after day we fret about the tiniest of details, and the pettiest of issues, only to be shown again that our fears, our wants and our desires are nothing in the grand scheme of things if we just have faith...and with that, patience. Coupled together the lives we live today will live on into eternity as we follow that righteous path.
Imagine waiting twenty five years for something..or even forty. I can't
This woman taught me so much by doing so little. Although she could have done a simple Google search and gotten what she wanted in only seconds, she was patient and found what she had been searching for. For me, it took seven months. For you, maybe longer. Our paths are all different, but all equally blessed in one way or another. We are reminded by scripture and this angelic woman that if we live our lives with patience and with a faithful heart we will be led to solid ground, brighter days and our journey steadied.
May God bless your journey. Fill your heart with the warmth of His word and spread His patience across your path...and if you're literally searching for something - let's say, like a specific song - try a quick Google search or enjoy the long journey ahead.
Until next time...
Think about how tense you are driving the highway to work as others speed past you, hurried and on their way to work. How anxious and unresponsive a boss or coworker can be because they are desperately in need of a call back or correspondence from a counterpart. Or if you're that person, who like me, had waited month after month for nearly a year to get that job offer after umpteen final interview attempts. Patience. As beautifully necessary to survive, it flat out sucks.
The other weekend I worked a community arts and music festival. I met this woman who is eighty one years old. Twenty five years ago she listened to a band that was taking the stage as the last act of this year's event. She had told me that her and her husband heard this band play way back when and they performed a childhood favorite; a folk song that she remembered her Mom playing for her during early childhood, a song that meant so much to her. Since then she has yet to hear it played.
Twenty five years she searched record stores and music shops. For two and a half decades she sought out this childhood memory, but to no avail. Her husband told me in his delicately seasoned voice, from behind his wide black rimmed sunglasses, that they had called this band not too long ago to see if they'd play this one song for her...and they did. After twenty five years of what she had claimed was "completely worth it" she got what she had waited for. Twenty five years. That is patience.
Now just three weeks at my new job I look back at my lack of patience during nearly a year of searching and stressing for a job, a future and a chance of being a big kid again. I lacked patience. I wanted it now and I wanted it my way.
This story of the folk singing eighty one year old lady on a daunting two decade quest truly lives out the early message of Psalm 40.
"Surely, I wait for the Lord; who bends down to me and hears my cry, draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay, sets my feet upon rock, steadies my steps."
How often do we forget that all we must do is put our trust in someone so much greater, the most divine and the creator of our lives. Day after day we fret about the tiniest of details, and the pettiest of issues, only to be shown again that our fears, our wants and our desires are nothing in the grand scheme of things if we just have faith...and with that, patience. Coupled together the lives we live today will live on into eternity as we follow that righteous path.
Imagine waiting twenty five years for something..or even forty. I can't
This woman taught me so much by doing so little. Although she could have done a simple Google search and gotten what she wanted in only seconds, she was patient and found what she had been searching for. For me, it took seven months. For you, maybe longer. Our paths are all different, but all equally blessed in one way or another. We are reminded by scripture and this angelic woman that if we live our lives with patience and with a faithful heart we will be led to solid ground, brighter days and our journey steadied.
May God bless your journey. Fill your heart with the warmth of His word and spread His patience across your path...and if you're literally searching for something - let's say, like a specific song - try a quick Google search or enjoy the long journey ahead.
Until next time...
7.03.2012
JC the Kung Fu fighting, faith filling, 'see and eye dog' super hero for the lost
After nearly eight restless months of being beaten to my knees exploring the rough seas of interviewing I have found a new career endeavor; a new mountain to climb; a new chapter in the journey.
A full year has gone by now since leaving ministry and it's still so hard to talk about. I close my eyes and remember the chorus of frustrations that sang out, the sadness that caused me to weep with those that I chose to leave behind and the times that exceeded my expectations only to be blinded by the things I couldn't talk about.
The past year has been an unpredictable roller coaster ride. It had its ups, and it surely had its downs, but through it all, my eyes have been closed. I was desperate to cross the lips of grace. Lost, but struggled to be found. Yet through friends, family and faith was able to push through.
Now as I stare at the ever-evolving journey that is my life, I look to see that during this moment of my life Christ was constantly, and humbly, hitting me across the face with a 4X4 of Truth while God would frequently sucker punch me in the gut just to remind it is His will that will be done, not my own.
Much like many of you, in times of heartache, anticipation and ruts we often forget that we don't go it alone in life. We look for signs in any place possible, but most times forgetting that we don't need signs, we need faith. For several months I prayed and prayed through it all for a sign. It's good that cell phone companies don't have a prayer plan, because I would have surely used up all the minutes, and then some, the first week of the job search. Let alone the countless hours of discernment with my parents after each resume was sent out, after each interview or any time I had an idea of how to survive this chapter of my life. All the times at the rec. when patrons, now my dear friends, would vibrantly ask for a career update. I would have tapped out enough minutes in discernment for myself in a thousand lifetimes. Yet, I still sought out a sign.
As I began to unpack my stuff in my new temporary home down in Columbus, I heard these words echoed out of my laptop speakers: "A year goes by, and I can't talk about it. On my knees, dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume, myself in this, I'm not faithless, just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose." These words caused me to stop my unpacking to begin in prayer as I listened to this song. For an entire year, I felt lost. Wandering the wretched streets of sorrow as I fought the tears of frustrations of where I was in my life.
The song continued on, "...And I'm praying that we will see, something there in between, then and there that exceeds all we can dream, so we can talk about it." How many times during the past year did I pray that I'd see so much more of my life, in between all that made me close my eyes? Through months of discernment of leaving ministry, a gut wrenching break-up, family troubles and praying to get through feeling like a failure as an adult I was able to stay positive and tackle it with my head held high.
We are constantly reminded that we never go it alone. Christ is there by our side. He says in Deuteronomy, "Be brave it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you, He will never fail you or forsake you (Deut. 31)." All those restless nights staying up worrying about what's to come I felt alone, scared and discouraged. Yet, everywhere I looked He was there. He was there in the people I met while working at the rec. Those friendly foes who opened up to share their own life stories, those adventures that gave witness to their own mountains that were forced to climb. He was there in the teens I led in the jr. high and high school ministries as we grew in faith together. He sang to me as I hiked the countless miles of trails back home. My eyes were closed, but he took me and led me through it all. He was there.
He goes on to proclaim: "It is the Lord who marches before you...So do not fear or be dismayed." A year has gone by and I still can't talk about it, but I survived. I came out alive. I came out on top. I came out alive. The sign I was looking for all along was there. He was there. Much like the story of the man who walked along the beach in Christ's footsteps, I too, walked step by step in His shadow.
As I finished listening to the song that had taken me from unpacking my new life, it finished with the message I needed. "And I'm praying that we will see, something there in between, then and there that exceeds all we can dream, so we can talk about it."
As we become lost along the way. Become beaten to our knees and striped of our pride, becoming faithless and full of fears, it is then that Christ walks closest with us. It is when we close our eyes, He shows his light the brightest. As we become deaf to His word he shouts it from the mountaintop. He is there.
Just as the song sand out, "another year has gone by," and now my eyes are open and I can talk about it. To all those, that helped me along the way, I thank you. To the ones who gave freely of themselves to help encourage and inspire, thank you. To those who gave me sight while I was blind, thank you. To those, who showed me hope as I became hopeless, I love you. For as I walk forward into this new chapter of my life, it is because of you I am ready and able to hit this next mountain head on. The sign I prayed to God for the past several months came through you. He was there with me all along. It is now that I realize it. Remembering the words of Thomas Merton, "though I may seem to be lost, and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my problems alone."
Thank you.
Until next time...
A full year has gone by now since leaving ministry and it's still so hard to talk about. I close my eyes and remember the chorus of frustrations that sang out, the sadness that caused me to weep with those that I chose to leave behind and the times that exceeded my expectations only to be blinded by the things I couldn't talk about.
The past year has been an unpredictable roller coaster ride. It had its ups, and it surely had its downs, but through it all, my eyes have been closed. I was desperate to cross the lips of grace. Lost, but struggled to be found. Yet through friends, family and faith was able to push through.
Now as I stare at the ever-evolving journey that is my life, I look to see that during this moment of my life Christ was constantly, and humbly, hitting me across the face with a 4X4 of Truth while God would frequently sucker punch me in the gut just to remind it is His will that will be done, not my own.
Much like many of you, in times of heartache, anticipation and ruts we often forget that we don't go it alone in life. We look for signs in any place possible, but most times forgetting that we don't need signs, we need faith. For several months I prayed and prayed through it all for a sign. It's good that cell phone companies don't have a prayer plan, because I would have surely used up all the minutes, and then some, the first week of the job search. Let alone the countless hours of discernment with my parents after each resume was sent out, after each interview or any time I had an idea of how to survive this chapter of my life. All the times at the rec. when patrons, now my dear friends, would vibrantly ask for a career update. I would have tapped out enough minutes in discernment for myself in a thousand lifetimes. Yet, I still sought out a sign.
As I began to unpack my stuff in my new temporary home down in Columbus, I heard these words echoed out of my laptop speakers: "A year goes by, and I can't talk about it. On my knees, dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume, myself in this, I'm not faithless, just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose." These words caused me to stop my unpacking to begin in prayer as I listened to this song. For an entire year, I felt lost. Wandering the wretched streets of sorrow as I fought the tears of frustrations of where I was in my life.
The song continued on, "...And I'm praying that we will see, something there in between, then and there that exceeds all we can dream, so we can talk about it." How many times during the past year did I pray that I'd see so much more of my life, in between all that made me close my eyes? Through months of discernment of leaving ministry, a gut wrenching break-up, family troubles and praying to get through feeling like a failure as an adult I was able to stay positive and tackle it with my head held high.
We are constantly reminded that we never go it alone. Christ is there by our side. He says in Deuteronomy, "Be brave it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you, He will never fail you or forsake you (Deut. 31)." All those restless nights staying up worrying about what's to come I felt alone, scared and discouraged. Yet, everywhere I looked He was there. He was there in the people I met while working at the rec. Those friendly foes who opened up to share their own life stories, those adventures that gave witness to their own mountains that were forced to climb. He was there in the teens I led in the jr. high and high school ministries as we grew in faith together. He sang to me as I hiked the countless miles of trails back home. My eyes were closed, but he took me and led me through it all. He was there.
He goes on to proclaim: "It is the Lord who marches before you...So do not fear or be dismayed." A year has gone by and I still can't talk about it, but I survived. I came out alive. I came out on top. I came out alive. The sign I was looking for all along was there. He was there. Much like the story of the man who walked along the beach in Christ's footsteps, I too, walked step by step in His shadow.
As I finished listening to the song that had taken me from unpacking my new life, it finished with the message I needed. "And I'm praying that we will see, something there in between, then and there that exceeds all we can dream, so we can talk about it."
As we become lost along the way. Become beaten to our knees and striped of our pride, becoming faithless and full of fears, it is then that Christ walks closest with us. It is when we close our eyes, He shows his light the brightest. As we become deaf to His word he shouts it from the mountaintop. He is there.
Just as the song sand out, "another year has gone by," and now my eyes are open and I can talk about it. To all those, that helped me along the way, I thank you. To the ones who gave freely of themselves to help encourage and inspire, thank you. To those who gave me sight while I was blind, thank you. To those, who showed me hope as I became hopeless, I love you. For as I walk forward into this new chapter of my life, it is because of you I am ready and able to hit this next mountain head on. The sign I prayed to God for the past several months came through you. He was there with me all along. It is now that I realize it. Remembering the words of Thomas Merton, "though I may seem to be lost, and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my problems alone."
Thank you.
Until next time...
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