Tonight before scripture study I stopped in the sanctuary to pray. As I knelt before the Tabernacle my prayer was interrupted by a loud tap on the glass of the window behind me. It didn't keep me from my deep reflection of my life, my struggles and the stresses of my life today. Just as I felt it was getting somewhere the loud tap turned into a flutter of banging against what ended up being the window of the emergency exit door. After pausing my prayer, and the progress of unloading my feelings, I turned towards the far back corner of the Church.
A curious cardinal hovering outside the door was staring inside the Church. Every few seconds the fire truck red bird would make a dash towards the Church only to be swatted away by the glass of the door. After a few moments of being discouraged, rattled and attempting to catch his breadth the feathered friend tried again...and again to no avail. After watching this guy for nearly ten minutes attempt to get in, rest upon the pine tree, try again, hover while fighting his displeasure and trying again, he flew off. He had had enough.
My prayer didn't come in the form of a conversation with God tonight. It came through the cheeky sense of humor from the Big Guy as I witness a concussed bird attempt to break into the Church. That cardinal, was me, and that cardinal was you. Like that cardinal we so often see what it is we need to do to become a better person spiritually, professionally and personally. Like that cardinal we know what we must do to follow that righteous path or to become a better husband or wife but are kept form doing so. Like that cardinal we see those things, but can't seem to get their because there's this glass wall that separates us from point A to point B. The window that allows us to see our destiny, but is the barrier of truly living out our beliefs. Just like that cardinal we try and try and try, then get discouraged.
But the difference between us and that cardinal is that we have strength. We have love. We have a heart that burns with passion. We have been taught that perfect love trumps fear and we see that in the love and life of Christ that we are called to imitate. Being equipped with a love that conquers fear we can break through that damn wall that keeps us from our path.
For me it's figuring out "the next step" in my life as I discern my options and fears of grad school. It's also in the form of knowing where I'd like to see my writing go, but being afraid of the path I must follow to get it there. What is that wall keeping you from conquering in your life? Where is it you're supposed to be? Why are you still banging your head against it?
That bird got discouraged after ten minutes of beating his head against the door...I know the feeling...I tend to beat myself up over a lot of things. What that cardinal didn't know was that I had walked closer to the door and could have let him in, but he flew away before I could help. We have someone waiting on the other side who will never give up on us and is always calling us to enter in. Let nothing hold you back, no matter how many times you fail to break through the glass door that is holding you back.
Until next time...
