The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn't even think to ask.
This fall I began grad school to study theology. Through the next couple of years of late nights studying, countless hours with my nose in books and spending money I don't have, I will earn a piece of paper saying I am a theologian. For me this will be a journey that will truly test my faith, strengthen my relationship and make me question my Church. Unlike other grad programs this will be a field that will encompass more than just one's self academically, but so much more. It will shape the essence of my whole self in the most authentic and spiritually demanding ways that I can think of.
Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia, said in one of my favorite documentaries 180 Degrees South something I'll carry with me through this next chapter of my life. He said that while on a journey you must engulf your whole self in the the truest sense to fully experience all it has in store for you. He brought up the hard truth of those who fake their way through the ultimate journey (in this case climbing Everest) saying that many high powered plastic surgeons and CEO's shell out loads of money to take an easy way up Everest; getting everything from ropes laid out in advance to mints on their pillows. He goes on to say that "the whole purpose of planning something like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual and physical gain and if you compromise the process, you're an asshole when you start out and you're an asshole when you get back."
Today I face my Everest. I stand at the foot of this massive mountain of doubt, struggle and reward, and currently I am unable to see the summit or anything that resembles my mountaintop. As I begin to build upon a sturdy foundation of my faith I am challenged to climb my Everest, the study of theology. It's time for me not just to purchase books and write papers, but have my spiritual and physical gain, remaining authentic through my experiences and disciplined during the process or I risk beginning as an asshole and walking across that stage in a couple years to be handed a piece of paper reminding me I'm still an asshole...and broke.
The fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all...when the journey seems to throw switchbacks your way and it all becomes too much, that is when the adventure begins. As I begin to take on my Everest I am thankful for the support of friends and family, the grace flowing freely through this process and for having a hell of a good pair of hiking boots to tackle such a mountain.
Goodbye social life. Hello opportunity. Farewell fun weekend and greetings coffee shops and hipster baristas (oxymoron?). This is grad school. This is my Everest and I intend not to compromise the process.
Until next time...
