The other night I finished my financial aid papers for grad school. My evening consisted of sifting through mind numbing paperwork and filling out government forms about student loans. On the eve of putting a studies induced stranglehold on my spending and a stop payment on my Adventure Fund, I also received my first bill from the university. If filling out all those forms about how much I’ll owe wasn’t enough to make my palms sweaty, stomach turn and my wallet shed some pounds the $2,000 initial payment did the trick.
All evening I second guessed my decision and stressed about my financial future for the foreseeable future. My mind raced quicker than the loans will be filed. “What did I get myself into,” I asked myself repeatedly. “Is this even the right ‘next step’ for me?” I asked. Since I’m going to study Theology this better be what the good Lord intends that I do. Needless to say it was an exhausting evening.
As I attempted to gather myself I was interrupted by a text from a teen that I had often met with while serving as Youth Minister. She would always come to events, asked great questions, made my job hell at times and would have weekly office visits to unload her thoughts, opinions and stresses of being a high schooler. She just ‘wanted to say hi,’ but past conversations that started like that indicated more than that. I asked how she was doing, and after hearing a generic response, I asked again, only to learn that her high school stress was now the realities of a life of a young woman dealing with much more as a young adult.
In respect to her I’ll skip much of the details and simply say that she faces many grueling mountains I could not even bare to ever face. I was empathetic to things going on in her life and for nearly two hours we texted back and forth. It wasn’t until I was lying in bed later on that I realized that our conversation had completely calmed my nerves from earlier. Here I was questioning my decision of going back to school for a degree that to many seems useless. It was the humbling way of having the Big Guy share His grace in my Life and that subtle, yet in your face, sign that maybe I should work on the whole 'surrendering thing' that He calls us to do.
As I spent an evening questioning Him and what I think He wants me to do He gave me that gentle jab to my ego to remind me that it is His will that shall be done. The most loving and compassionate I have felt in quite some time came at the tail end of an evening that was full of second guessing, anxiety and the fear of the unknown in my future. Then my mind was quieted, my heart opened and myself humbled. It's funny how things work out and how He works in our lives.
I've always said that the Big Guy is like a comedian...a really, really bad comedian. The kind where the jokes don't make sense or often times it takes a long time to think about the punchline. But after an onslaught of bad jokes he ends his set with a real zinger. The anticipated bazinga moment leaving you smiling and full of life. In this case I'm still deciding if this is the first of many one liners before the zinger or if this is this just the opening act. Either way I'm just excited to be here for the act.
Until next time...
7.10.2013
Livin' la Vida...?
Here's a morbid, yet fun thought (in a twisted kind of way): Have you ever thought about how you might one day die? Seriously, think about it. When I left work today a nice thunderstorm rolled in. Bright bolts of lightening electrified that gusty late afternoon sky and I couldn't help but think to myself what if I were to get struck right here, right now by lightening? That would straight up suck. Game over. That simple, somewhat unsettling question made me think though. How will I one day die? Would it be in a stampede of wild animals off on a hike somewhere (that's an honorable and manly way to go), would it be heroic final act or would it be peaceful. Beyond the sickening thoughts another popped into my mind. However I may one day go, how will I be remembered? How will the way that I lived my life shape my legacy?
Think about it...really, just think about those two questions.
Frank Sinatra tells us that we have to "enjoy livin' cuz dyin' is a pain in the ass" and "that's life." But is it. Another interesting thought came into my mind earlier today. If someone asked me today "what do you do for living?" how would I answer that question? Again, think about that one. Chew on it for a minute. Would you state your profession. "Well, I'm a (fill in the career..." or would you say "You know what? I never gave it much thought."
I thought about that today and I haven't settled on one good answer. It's too tough. On the surface the easiest answer(s) would be that I'm an events coordinator and I'm a youth minister (kinda). But in all reality that's not 'my living.' I know the government tells me to live to pay taxes and keep the country running. I'm told by society to live to work, to marry and to one day retire. I know that spiritually I'm called to offer myself as a 'living sacrifice,' to worship and not conform my life to this world, but to discern the will of God (Romans 12:2) and blah blah blah.
Because this thought followed me most of the afternoon, coupled together with the thought of being struck by lightening and the legacy I'd leave behind, I realized what I believe to be the start of what my living is:
What do I do for a living? Well, first off I live. I live each day in case it were my last, like I might not wake up tomorrow morning. I live each day to love (unless you're a gal I've gone out with and never called me back), to serve those in need and please those around me, those I meet and everyone else I may stumble across. I might not always be patient, appropriate or friendly, but sure as hell give it the old college try. For a living I attempt to be a compassionate companion in the rat race of life (unless you tailgate me). I live to learn from my mistakes (and I'm sorry to those I've hurt along the way or failed). My living is to one day find all the riches of the world, achieve my purpose and pass the final exam of life that determines if my 'living' was truly lived out... to get into the country club high in the sky known as Heaven. For I know that all things work for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).
In the wise words of Mr. Ricky Martin we should be "livin' la vida loca," also known as live the crazy life...for me it's to livin' la vida Lofy, livin' the Lofy life (whatever that may be). Today, think about your life and what you do for a living. What's the legacy you'll live behind; Based off the life you lived how will you be remembered? Think about it and when it starts to make sense think about it some more, because you don't know. I'm still thinking away. Smoke is coming out of my ears right now I'm thinking so hard and I've already begun to write amendments and edits to what my living is. And remember just keep livin' la vida...
Until next time...
Think about it...really, just think about those two questions.
Frank Sinatra tells us that we have to "enjoy livin' cuz dyin' is a pain in the ass" and "that's life." But is it. Another interesting thought came into my mind earlier today. If someone asked me today "what do you do for living?" how would I answer that question? Again, think about that one. Chew on it for a minute. Would you state your profession. "Well, I'm a (fill in the career..." or would you say "You know what? I never gave it much thought."
I thought about that today and I haven't settled on one good answer. It's too tough. On the surface the easiest answer(s) would be that I'm an events coordinator and I'm a youth minister (kinda). But in all reality that's not 'my living.' I know the government tells me to live to pay taxes and keep the country running. I'm told by society to live to work, to marry and to one day retire. I know that spiritually I'm called to offer myself as a 'living sacrifice,' to worship and not conform my life to this world, but to discern the will of God (Romans 12:2) and blah blah blah.
Because this thought followed me most of the afternoon, coupled together with the thought of being struck by lightening and the legacy I'd leave behind, I realized what I believe to be the start of what my living is:
What do I do for a living? Well, first off I live. I live each day in case it were my last, like I might not wake up tomorrow morning. I live each day to love (unless you're a gal I've gone out with and never called me back), to serve those in need and please those around me, those I meet and everyone else I may stumble across. I might not always be patient, appropriate or friendly, but sure as hell give it the old college try. For a living I attempt to be a compassionate companion in the rat race of life (unless you tailgate me). I live to learn from my mistakes (and I'm sorry to those I've hurt along the way or failed). My living is to one day find all the riches of the world, achieve my purpose and pass the final exam of life that determines if my 'living' was truly lived out... to get into the country club high in the sky known as Heaven. For I know that all things work for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).
In the wise words of Mr. Ricky Martin we should be "livin' la vida loca," also known as live the crazy life...for me it's to livin' la vida Lofy, livin' the Lofy life (whatever that may be). Today, think about your life and what you do for a living. What's the legacy you'll live behind; Based off the life you lived how will you be remembered? Think about it and when it starts to make sense think about it some more, because you don't know. I'm still thinking away. Smoke is coming out of my ears right now I'm thinking so hard and I've already begun to write amendments and edits to what my living is. And remember just keep livin' la vida...
Until next time...
7.01.2013
Social ME-Di-UH!
It’s not news to hear that Social Media rules our day and age. Look at any print advertisement and you’ll see an accompaniment of logos for Social Media sites. We’ve become consumed by the craze, which for some has become second nature behind breathing and eating. Professionally we believe that the more Social Media the more support from consumers. Personally, we believe the more we update the world on our love life, personal accomplishments and motivating song lyrics the more satisfied we feel…like we are some sort of D-list celebrity with important things to share with the world. A friend recently posted that “Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.” Social Media has become a constant in our daily lives and our daily lives have been constantly planned around Social Media.
It’s also no surprise that as we broadcast to the world, and to our ‘friends’ that follow us, we also open ourselves to the risk of a world of hurtfulness and all the stressing over how we stack up towards our friends, all the while diluting our ability to actually be able to handle true relationships with others. I think my friend’s post was wrong. Facebook is like the fridge of a bachelor (i.e. Me), I’ll keep putting food into it and keep checking it, but it always leaves me empty.
If it’s so easy to open up to ‘friends’ and complete strangers through Social Media why is it such a struggle for many to warm up to broadcasting our thoughts, thankfulness and temptations to someone who truly follows us every hour of every day? He tells us that whether He remains seen or distant in our own lives we should strive to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27-28). It is only when we draw near in confidence towards His grace that we may one day receive His mercy and find His grace in our time of need (Hebrews 4: 16). The man is practically an inspirational status update generator for those pick me up quotes when we’re down…and the best part is we don’t have to sign in to read them, there’s no passwords keeping us from them and there’s no pesky updates we don’t understand because His grace hasn’t changed for two thousand years.
As technology grows, Social Media becomes more and more ingrained in our daily lives. The faster life picks up the more stress we put upon ourselves to keep up with these needs. The more stressed and stretched thin, the easier it is to consume ourselves with the needs of x, y and z. With that brings personal pain, social stresses, loneliness and the abandonment of our pride. Now is the time for us to pull back from the poking, posting and pain of Social Media and begin forming true relationships, one’s that don’t leave us empty. Relationships built on love, compassion and purpose. It is the Holy Spirit who says, “I love those who love me (Proverbs 8:17),” “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest (Exodus 33:14),” and the One who says “through prayer be social with me, duh! (This guy).”
It’s also no surprise that as we broadcast to the world, and to our ‘friends’ that follow us, we also open ourselves to the risk of a world of hurtfulness and all the stressing over how we stack up towards our friends, all the while diluting our ability to actually be able to handle true relationships with others. I think my friend’s post was wrong. Facebook is like the fridge of a bachelor (i.e. Me), I’ll keep putting food into it and keep checking it, but it always leaves me empty.
If it’s so easy to open up to ‘friends’ and complete strangers through Social Media why is it such a struggle for many to warm up to broadcasting our thoughts, thankfulness and temptations to someone who truly follows us every hour of every day? He tells us that whether He remains seen or distant in our own lives we should strive to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27-28). It is only when we draw near in confidence towards His grace that we may one day receive His mercy and find His grace in our time of need (Hebrews 4: 16). The man is practically an inspirational status update generator for those pick me up quotes when we’re down…and the best part is we don’t have to sign in to read them, there’s no passwords keeping us from them and there’s no pesky updates we don’t understand because His grace hasn’t changed for two thousand years.
As technology grows, Social Media becomes more and more ingrained in our daily lives. The faster life picks up the more stress we put upon ourselves to keep up with these needs. The more stressed and stretched thin, the easier it is to consume ourselves with the needs of x, y and z. With that brings personal pain, social stresses, loneliness and the abandonment of our pride. Now is the time for us to pull back from the poking, posting and pain of Social Media and begin forming true relationships, one’s that don’t leave us empty. Relationships built on love, compassion and purpose. It is the Holy Spirit who says, “I love those who love me (Proverbs 8:17),” “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest (Exodus 33:14),” and the One who says “through prayer be social with me, duh! (This guy).”
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