Have you ever been at a sporting event, concert or even walking the streets of New York City and become overwhelmed by the chaos of trying to walk around? That certain time when there's so much going on and everyone is walking in every which way, but one that makes sense? Then just like that, you snap. You grow angry, anxious and aggravated.
There was an instance when I was at an outdoor festival up in Cleveland, a Christian event to make this story even better, and it became crowded. There were folks walking in every direction, bumping into one another and were without a care in the world for anyone outside of their own personalbubble. To make things worse, I was there all day working at three different locations, all strategically placed to cause me to just erupt with frustration or eventually collapse with exhaustion. Either way, it didn't help that it was also a bajillion degrees out.
I figured the only thing at that time that could calm me down was a beer, but since it was a Christian event there was none, but a Johnsonville brat seemed to take a close second. I found myself waiting in a never ending line for one fresh off the world's longest grill. As I neared the end a group of people came to join the person ahead of me; five people to be exact. I grew livid and was screaming insanities in my head. Then this one man joined them and bumped into me, causing me to leave my spot and fall from the line. If I wasn't already at my breaking point, this was the final straw.
In my head I thought to myself many things, many of the adjectives I used were only four lettered. I thought to myself Look at this guy! Is he a jerk? Does he just not care? Is he blind? How could he not see me? . It was at the time I was about to confront him - "Hey chief, ya blind? Did ya not see me or are you just that ignorant..." - that I quickly learned how I was actually the one who was the jerk.
As I bit my lip, he turned to apologize. His hat blocked most of his face and his eyes hid behind his large dark sunglasses as he glared over me. He had his right arm locked with the woman next to him, most likely his wife. In his left hand...a thin white stick with a red tip. The man who had bumped into me, the man who caused me to grow angered, was blind. He could not see me. Yet although he was the one in line who physically could not see, I was the one in all reality who was blind.
Christ teaches us that we are always in his presence even when we are blind. In the book of Psalms it says "I was stupid and could not understand; I was like a brute beast in your presence. Yet I am always with you; you take hold of my right hand (Psalm 73: 22-23)."
He reminds us time and time again to open our eyes - physically and spiritually - to hear His message. The big guy calls us to remain compassionate and understanding, even when it just drives us crazy. Whether it's at a large event like the one in my story, on the highway in rush hour or even with that one person who drives us the craziest.
As we "neither know, nor understand; as we wander about in darkness, and it seems all the world’s foundations shake (Psalms 82:5)" we are called to continue to search for love and compassion. We are reminded in Proverbs that "The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know on what they stumble (Proverbs 4:19)." We all stumble. We all grow angry. We all are led into darkness. But we must remember that it is then, when grow blind, grow angered, lonely, tired, fill in how you feel today, that we are called to open our eyes and trust in the Lord. He tells us as we stumble "My son, to my words be attentive, to my sayings incline your ear; Let them not slip from your sight, keep them within your heart; For they are life to those who find them (Proverbs 4:20-22)."
A few moments after the man apologized I got my brat and I took it to a nearby park. For a half hour I sat on a bench, devoured my brat and sipped my water as I began to pray. I grew relaxed and was at peace. It was hard to imagine at that moment in time how I could let myself to grow that angry and ignorant...especially at Jesus-Stock. Yet, I chose to be driven by my anger to be led blindly. It just took almost picking a fight with someone who was actually blind, to show me that.
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