This past weekend I had the opportunity to be apart of a high school youth retreat with a great group of teens. Smacked dab in the middle of Saturday was a few hours of work for me at a community Family event. While I was there I noticed a friendly, talking, cartoonie-looking school bus named Buster reach out to kids about bus safety and such. It was one of those remote controlled deals where someone followed behind, directing it where to go and talking into a microphone that made the bus speak in a unisex, high pitched Darth Vader-esque voice. The thing reached out to kids, in a friendly, engaging way, but did neither. It did the opposite. It freaked them out.
Buster the talking bus scared the crap out of the kids. I watched Buster the entire length of the event. Kids would cry, grab a hold of their Moms. Some would pull a Matrix style maneuver to avoid being seen. One little lad even pulled out a gymnastics number of two cartwheels into a perfectly executed somersault, tucked into a triple deek just to get away from the thing.
It made me think. How often do we attempt to do something that is good in nature, involves nothing but the best intentions, but only to not understand what's going on, to grow scared and afraid or even doubt what is ahead of us, regardless of how entertaining, amusing or horrifying it may be. That one thing that makes the future freak us out.
At the retreat you could tell who was not wanting to be there the moment they hopped off the bus. Like most, you can pick out the teens who have come shut off, close minded and afraid to open up their hearts. Those who are unwilling to accept the Truths or let in the Lord. For me, I had two of those types at my table. Two freshmen boys. Like the little kids, afraid to open up or even talk to Buster, these two teens were hesitant to open up to the retreat, let alone to the thought of the Lord in their lives. They were not wanting (at first) to "buy into" what we were selling.
Like the attempts of using a talking robotic school bus to spread the word of school bus safety we use gimmicks, crazy icebreakers, songs with hand motions and Jesus freak jokes to ignite a flame of interest in the hearts and minds of the teens about a Christ focused life. Outside of ministry we use self-help books, trained professionals, alcohol and other stimulates to help us understand our life and what lays ahead.
Just before lights out on the final night of the retreat I had a teen approach me about problems in his life, worries and hopes for his future, and his fears of growing up. He opened up and it was great. Especially after sitting next to each other during Adoration and helping him prepare for Reconciliation answering his questions and praying with him. A one time closed off guy, now opened up to his faith and wanted to go deeper. There was no cartoon-looking, robotic Jesus that came up to him and spread His news, there was no marketing campaign or big hoopla, only a combination of an open mind and heart, willingness to let the Lord in and a bit of inspiration from a spiritual environment. Yet, so often we as adults fail to understand that we don't need to understand, but open up our hearts and minds to the challenges and frustrations that present themselves. Trust in the Lord, and His plan.
When I woke the guys up the second morning, after only about four or five hours of sleep all weekend, the slow bodies of teens rose from their beds like youthful zombies busting through the earthly layers of pillows and blankets arising from their comfortable graves of nocturnal rejuvenation. Some faster than others. I called out to them "I don't understand how you can stay up so late and get up so early and still have as much energy as you do." Then one of the guys shot back without hesitation in a Buddha like demeanor: "We're teens...you're not supposed to understand."
How fitting is that? As we worry about finding our purpose in life, spend countless hours seeking out the next step along the path we follow on this journey, he strive to "understand." We mask our heavy hitting issues with marketing style lessons of hope and strength, we mask the truths behind what we think is "right" and "should be happening." When all we really must understand is that "we're not supposed to understand." That's the beauty of life. We live. We learn. We love. Imagine how dull and anticlimactic our lives would be if everything we wanted either magically happened or didn't with a quick snap of our fingers or tap of a magic wand.
The beauty of life, is that whether we're at the cusp of something greater, or trapped deep down in the depths of depression, what we must truly understand is that we're not supposed to understand. We're supposed to live our lives with purpose, through love of self and others. Striving for our mountaintops and serving those we come across. It is then that we will truly understand...and if not we'll constantly be running from something much more scary than a talking school bus named Buster.
4.18.2012
Life at the free throw line
Imagine that you're standing at the free throw line about to take your one and only free throw to win the game. So much is riding on this shot. The game. The season. Your career. Your image. Everything rides on this one shot. A free throw. The distance between you and the rim is about thirteen feet. No one is standing in your way. No one can block your shot. It's just you, the ball and the rim. The lights dim on just you and the paint. The crowd silences. Sweat drips down your forehead. The ref passes you the ball. Seconds later it lands in your hands. You bounce it once. A second time. You close your eyes. Breath in slowly. Exhale slower. You open your eyes. Focus on the backboard. You bend your knees and dip with the force shooting you and your arms up towards the hoop. You release...
At this moment you have three outcomes:
1. You can miss. An airball, brick it off the glass or rim, it could bounce in and out teasing you, it can roll along the rim taunting you as you wish, as you pray that it goes in. You miss the shot.
2. It can go from backboard to the front of the rim, bounce over towards the back portion of the rim, travel westward to the left side and moments later fall in like a pinball hitting every possible obstacle in it's way.
3. Swish. Nothing. But. Net.
...as the ball leaves your hands it soars through the air. You hold your breath. Everyone around you hangs on tightly to whatever they can. You close your eyes and pray. It slowly makes its way, cutting through the thin air as it makes its approach. Time stands still. Your nerves grow in uneasiness, your muscles tighten, your heart pounds, baboom...babooom.....baboooom. Everyone watching holds their breath. What goes through your mind? How do you prepare for what's about to come? How did you get to this point? Where did it begin?
The free throw is one of the easiest and most challenging things in the game of basketball, much like a penalty kick in soccer (a sport I'm more passionate about and can tolerate). Although very simple and with no one in your face a free throw can ruin your career or at least be your Achilles heal, just ask Shaq. It's so easy, like you should just be able to reach forward and just set it in the net, but still so many players struggle.
I was shooting around at the rec and decided to try my best at nailing as many free throws as I could out of ten shots. Usually, I make about seven or eight, which I'm alright with since I stopped playing basketball in the sixth grade. When I tried this week it was like I couldn't even hit water if I fell out of a boat. I made one out of my first six or seven shots. It was so bad that I missed all the way up to my tenth shot and convinced myself that I can't quit with a miss.
A bit frustrated by the outcome of this silly personal contest, I grew determined to make another free throw, I was on a conquest now. I set my eyes on the basket, took a deep breath, bounced the ball once and a second time, bent my knees and threw my arms up and released my shot. It soared to the basket and the next thing I heard as the sweet sound of the ball hitting nothing the net and coming down to the floor. It was exhilarating. On the eleventh shot I made it. On the eleventh shot I did what I couldn't do on my first nine out of ten tries.
I went one for ten, which in baseball isn't even good, but it took my eleventh shot to succeed again. It made me think how challenging something so easy can be. Furthermore, how frustrated I got when I couldn't succeed at something so damn easy. It made me think how it relates to my life right now. I've applied and applied for jobs, just as many of you have or are doing, but never seem to hear back; or maybe you're a businessman and you're coming up short deal after deal; or you're asking out cute girl/guy after cute girl/guy, but always getting a "no." We all have our own story.
We can go 0-2, 0-5 or 0-10 and either way it still sucks, but if we lived our lives where we just gave up because things weren't going our way or because our cards weren't stacked in our favor we would never succeed. We would never get anywhere. We would never live. I'd rather live a life where I failed but lived, than live a life where I failed to live.
An older gentleman who comes into the rec always tries to fill me with motivation and inspiration as he asks about my life and job search. We've known each other for years, since my days in high school. He would come to football games and would hear my name called over the PA system when I'd come into the game to punt or kick a field goal. So one day, way back when, he became a friend of mine while I first worked at the rec.
One day recently, he could tell I was down and out about my job search and shared a story with me of an old employee he was interviewing. He worked in the insurance industry and needed reps to go to peoples houses and meet to discuss insurance plans. He had interviewed many candidates before this guy and always came up short finding a motivated, determined person. He had one question he always asked in interviews, and never got the answer he was looking for. If you went to ten houses and went 0-10 on getting a new client, what would you do, he would ask.
The man took a moment to think. Then he looked him in the eye and said I'd go to the eleventh house.
Life is all about what will happen next. Every miss. Every strike out. Every email declining you of a job. They all just bring you one more closer to what you're supposed to get. Just like my free throws, I could have stopped at ten, but I knew that I would eventually get one. Sometimes we blind ourselves of the reality of what's happening. I'll be the first to admit it. When the ball is in our court we might brick it, it might even bounce all over the place and tease you, but end up falling short...or you can bank that shot. At least you tried.
So often we get so upset, distraught and depressed that nothing is going our way, but if we stay the course, if we open our eyes and we keep moving forward we will get there. We will make that free throw, we will win that girl/ guy's heart, we will land that job. Even if you're batting 0-10, there's always that eleventh.
Until next time...
At this moment you have three outcomes:
1. You can miss. An airball, brick it off the glass or rim, it could bounce in and out teasing you, it can roll along the rim taunting you as you wish, as you pray that it goes in. You miss the shot.
2. It can go from backboard to the front of the rim, bounce over towards the back portion of the rim, travel westward to the left side and moments later fall in like a pinball hitting every possible obstacle in it's way.
3. Swish. Nothing. But. Net.
...as the ball leaves your hands it soars through the air. You hold your breath. Everyone around you hangs on tightly to whatever they can. You close your eyes and pray. It slowly makes its way, cutting through the thin air as it makes its approach. Time stands still. Your nerves grow in uneasiness, your muscles tighten, your heart pounds, baboom...babooom.....baboooom. Everyone watching holds their breath. What goes through your mind? How do you prepare for what's about to come? How did you get to this point? Where did it begin?
The free throw is one of the easiest and most challenging things in the game of basketball, much like a penalty kick in soccer (a sport I'm more passionate about and can tolerate). Although very simple and with no one in your face a free throw can ruin your career or at least be your Achilles heal, just ask Shaq. It's so easy, like you should just be able to reach forward and just set it in the net, but still so many players struggle.
I was shooting around at the rec and decided to try my best at nailing as many free throws as I could out of ten shots. Usually, I make about seven or eight, which I'm alright with since I stopped playing basketball in the sixth grade. When I tried this week it was like I couldn't even hit water if I fell out of a boat. I made one out of my first six or seven shots. It was so bad that I missed all the way up to my tenth shot and convinced myself that I can't quit with a miss.
A bit frustrated by the outcome of this silly personal contest, I grew determined to make another free throw, I was on a conquest now. I set my eyes on the basket, took a deep breath, bounced the ball once and a second time, bent my knees and threw my arms up and released my shot. It soared to the basket and the next thing I heard as the sweet sound of the ball hitting nothing the net and coming down to the floor. It was exhilarating. On the eleventh shot I made it. On the eleventh shot I did what I couldn't do on my first nine out of ten tries.
I went one for ten, which in baseball isn't even good, but it took my eleventh shot to succeed again. It made me think how challenging something so easy can be. Furthermore, how frustrated I got when I couldn't succeed at something so damn easy. It made me think how it relates to my life right now. I've applied and applied for jobs, just as many of you have or are doing, but never seem to hear back; or maybe you're a businessman and you're coming up short deal after deal; or you're asking out cute girl/guy after cute girl/guy, but always getting a "no." We all have our own story.
We can go 0-2, 0-5 or 0-10 and either way it still sucks, but if we lived our lives where we just gave up because things weren't going our way or because our cards weren't stacked in our favor we would never succeed. We would never get anywhere. We would never live. I'd rather live a life where I failed but lived, than live a life where I failed to live.
An older gentleman who comes into the rec always tries to fill me with motivation and inspiration as he asks about my life and job search. We've known each other for years, since my days in high school. He would come to football games and would hear my name called over the PA system when I'd come into the game to punt or kick a field goal. So one day, way back when, he became a friend of mine while I first worked at the rec.
One day recently, he could tell I was down and out about my job search and shared a story with me of an old employee he was interviewing. He worked in the insurance industry and needed reps to go to peoples houses and meet to discuss insurance plans. He had interviewed many candidates before this guy and always came up short finding a motivated, determined person. He had one question he always asked in interviews, and never got the answer he was looking for. If you went to ten houses and went 0-10 on getting a new client, what would you do, he would ask.
The man took a moment to think. Then he looked him in the eye and said I'd go to the eleventh house.
Life is all about what will happen next. Every miss. Every strike out. Every email declining you of a job. They all just bring you one more closer to what you're supposed to get. Just like my free throws, I could have stopped at ten, but I knew that I would eventually get one. Sometimes we blind ourselves of the reality of what's happening. I'll be the first to admit it. When the ball is in our court we might brick it, it might even bounce all over the place and tease you, but end up falling short...or you can bank that shot. At least you tried.
So often we get so upset, distraught and depressed that nothing is going our way, but if we stay the course, if we open our eyes and we keep moving forward we will get there. We will make that free throw, we will win that girl/ guy's heart, we will land that job. Even if you're batting 0-10, there's always that eleventh.
Until next time...
4.16.2012
Ohio might be for lovers, but Cleveland is for heartbreak, but there's always next year
It's a sad, but true fact that the great city of Cleveland is lacking what it once had. The swagger. The respect. The wins. You get the point. Years have gone by since a championship banner was raised in Cleveland. The years of the Cardiac Kids are well behind the newly formed losing traditions of the Browns since returning to the NFL. The Indians of the 90s of Nagy, Alomar, Baerga, Thome, Belle and Vizquel and their World Series misfortunes are only but a dream when watching the tribe today. The Cavs of Price, Daurgherty, Ehlo and Ferry have been overshadowed by The Decision and the "Chosen One" leaving his home...Cleveland...for the record I never chose him as the one, did you?
A city that was full of promise, pride and quality sports is now overrun with hard times, crime and unfortunate turns in the economy. Corrupt politicians have led the city down the wrong path for the past few decades, with little desire for change from the citizens, except for more of the same. You know it's bad in Cleveland that when Dimora and is rag tag team of about 25 merry corrupt men were taken from public office and thrown into prison and no one outside the Cleveland covered it. A recent Men's Health article gave Cleveland an F for the best places for single men to live in the country and Men's Fitness Magazine gave Cleveland another failing grade for fattest cities for men.
Cleveland has become (unfortunately) a joke among the great thriving metropolises, a shame from what it once was in the days of Rockefeller and Carnegie. In the words of Rodney Dangerfield we "can't get no respect." The state up north, the one that looks like a mitten and is often referred to as the Armpit of America has given up the top spot of worst city in the country, so that Cleveland could be #1 in something. If that's true that Michigan is the Armpit of America, then most people (outside of Cleveland) must make us out to be the flabby arm skin that hangs below it.
LeBron embarrassed us on national television and we were made out to be evil fans and unappreciative. Now we actually have something that we didn't have with LBJ and that's called a team. A new concept for the Cavs. Yet, it's been two seasons and not once as he been knocked down while driving to the hole, given a "love tap" or even a hard foul just to let him know how we feel. It's surprising that a team that he nationally called out and said he could never win with wouldn't have hard feelings. Hmmmm.
James Harrison has knocked out Colt McCoy two seasons in a row and multiple other Browns, but never once did a linemen or receiver knock him on his tuckus or wrestled him to the ground after the whistle. Sure last season we knocked out Big Ben, the guy who with millions of dollars and a few Super Bowl rings still can't get a girl without the help of liquor and a public restroom. Not once was he given a bit of a push in retaliation for how Harrison cheaply abused Colt and Cribbs.
This past weekend Choo was hit for the second time by a pitcher who beamed him last season, sending him to the bench for a major part of the season. The benches cleared. Later in the game, the Cleveland pitcher hits a batter. Benches cleared again. The best part is that in the midst of both bench clearings was Jack Hannahan. He wasn't involved directly with either altercation, but he stood up for his team. Guided by his pride for team and town he defended what he is...a Cleveland Indian.
I don't know who he is aside from on the ball field. I don't know if he's a good person off the field. I don't care. Finally we have someone in a sports uniform of Cleveland who will go to bat for his town in more than one way. He has pride for town and team, and for that I salute you...I might actually go to games now just because of that.
The city is evolving. It's becoming alive. It's a city for any foodie. The Rock Hall is bringing huge events. The aquarium has opened. The flats are being built back to life. Construction, expansion and development are seen all over. Movies are being filmed here. We have community festivals on the bottom portion of abandoned historical bridges. The casino is supposed to open sometime in May. Good days are drawing near. Neighborhoods are becoming communities again; working together to keep crime away and to draw up a sense of unity. Hospitals are popping up like money making dandelions in your front yard, some of them ranked amongst the best in the country. Heck, Cleveland's even made the trusty old grilled cheese sandwich into a trendy staple of deliciousness, three hour waits and a symbol of social elitism. Although not statistically proven Cleveland has the most attractive female news anchors (at least Fox 8's morning show does). I wake up excited to watch the news. Kristi Capel you're amazing! For our sports there really is next year. Two first rounders for the Cavs and two for the Brownies. Can't forget Great Lakes Brewery...I rest my case.
The "mistake by the lake" will rise again, showing that the real mistake was anyone who doubted it in the first place. Like any good underdog story it's the unsuspected hero who has the last laugh and that day is nearing.
Thank you Jack Hannahan for reminding me why I'm proud to be a Clevelander. Although I hope to take my talents to South Beach...of the Scioto in Columbus, you've instilled into me my passion for The New American City. Your testament of pride and passion has made me want to be a fiery ambassador for the city on the North coast just as you had in Kansas City.
To you sir, and to the city I know so well, I make a toast to you as I raise my Conway's in one hand a Slyman's corned beef sandwich in the other, and say with pride, as we have many times before: Can't wait for next year or the year after that.
Disclaimer: I don't condone fighting, nor do I like cheap shots or bad sports, but there's a difference between cheap shots and having pride for your team. Go Browns...please don't draft a quarterback in the first or second round, we need play makers. Kristi Capel, if you were to ever read this, I know you're married, only if you would've met me first, just saying.
Until next time...
4.15.2012
Fifteen rounds with reality
There comes a time in all of our lives where we are faced with the brutal realities of life. That time where we look ourselves in the mirror and are unhappy with what we see. The moment when reality smacks you in the face with a 2 x 4 of truth. That unmarked crossroad of life where we stare down two roads: The road of righteousness and the down hill stretch of disappointment; only to remember that you forgot your map to help us decide which one is the correct road to continue down. That single instance that it hits you that this isn't what you're life is supposed to be like...cue sappy string quartet.
It could be the moment you catch up with friends about their upcoming job prospect that they were just offered. The quick glance at your Facebook news feed when you see seven new engagement updates, three side profile photos of that one time high school crush who is now expecting another bundle of joy or that one girl who always seems to have a new relationship update, while you sit by asking when is your time. That interview that you left thinking to yourself welp, not gonna get that one.
Funny how things work.
Sounds kind of funny, but that's when I turn to the likes of Rocky Balboa. What's even funnier is what I'm about to say, I believe that we all have a part of Rocky deep inside of us. We all have a little bit of the Italian Stallion ready to break free from the fenced in confines of our being. Now, if you don't know who rocky Balboa is, or understand any of the references, I apologize for wasting your time and want to save you another minute of your life as I suggest that you just skip on to another blog or on to something more worthwhile.
Rocky teaches us that you can go twelve rounds with any opponent in life. A rival, an enemy, addiction, heartbreak, death/ loss, anything. He proves that anyone can go toe-to-toe with any challenge and persevere through determination, dedication and a chip on your shoulder. Because like he said in Rocky Babloa "Nothing will hit as hard as life." How often we forget that.
I've begun to struggle with that a lot lately, especially with recent interviews and opportunities, frequent reminders of how "far behind" I am to most of my peers and how depressing it is to work part time at the same place I did in high school. Then it dawned on me - while watching Rocky IV - that everyone's journey is different. Everyone's path differs in challenges, terrain, obstacles, levels of difficulties, etc...cue Rocky Balboa training montage with groovy 70's and 80's techno music.
While some of my peers value a few years of hard work building a foundation at one job and some growing into miserable machines; I chose two full time stints, a summer gig in the mountains and part time opportunities just to seek out more opportunities to fine tune my skills and seek out a fulfilling trade. While some peers chose to actually embed themselves into corporate America; I chose to leave and find a personal purpose that will help protect me upon my return. As some married themselves to the one they love most; I chose a courtship with curiosity, an affair with adventure and a spouse in spontaneity...all three new to my life since graduating college.
All of our lives, although extremely different, are filled with similar stories, setbacks and sad truths. And if there is anything that I've learned from watching many Rocky Movie Marathons on Spike, it's that no matter who you are, where you're from, whether you're a rookie, a veteran, a has-been or a never-was-been we can all fight, we can all go twelve rounds, fifteen rounds or even twenty rounds...when fighting in the ring of life.
So in the words of Rocky Balboa we must remember:
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
Ding. Ding. Ding. Round One. Fight.
Until next time...
It could be the moment you catch up with friends about their upcoming job prospect that they were just offered. The quick glance at your Facebook news feed when you see seven new engagement updates, three side profile photos of that one time high school crush who is now expecting another bundle of joy or that one girl who always seems to have a new relationship update, while you sit by asking when is your time. That interview that you left thinking to yourself welp, not gonna get that one.
Funny how things work.
Sounds kind of funny, but that's when I turn to the likes of Rocky Balboa. What's even funnier is what I'm about to say, I believe that we all have a part of Rocky deep inside of us. We all have a little bit of the Italian Stallion ready to break free from the fenced in confines of our being. Now, if you don't know who rocky Balboa is, or understand any of the references, I apologize for wasting your time and want to save you another minute of your life as I suggest that you just skip on to another blog or on to something more worthwhile.
Rocky teaches us that you can go twelve rounds with any opponent in life. A rival, an enemy, addiction, heartbreak, death/ loss, anything. He proves that anyone can go toe-to-toe with any challenge and persevere through determination, dedication and a chip on your shoulder. Because like he said in Rocky Babloa "Nothing will hit as hard as life." How often we forget that.
I've begun to struggle with that a lot lately, especially with recent interviews and opportunities, frequent reminders of how "far behind" I am to most of my peers and how depressing it is to work part time at the same place I did in high school. Then it dawned on me - while watching Rocky IV - that everyone's journey is different. Everyone's path differs in challenges, terrain, obstacles, levels of difficulties, etc...cue Rocky Balboa training montage with groovy 70's and 80's techno music.
While some of my peers value a few years of hard work building a foundation at one job and some growing into miserable machines; I chose two full time stints, a summer gig in the mountains and part time opportunities just to seek out more opportunities to fine tune my skills and seek out a fulfilling trade. While some peers chose to actually embed themselves into corporate America; I chose to leave and find a personal purpose that will help protect me upon my return. As some married themselves to the one they love most; I chose a courtship with curiosity, an affair with adventure and a spouse in spontaneity...all three new to my life since graduating college.
All of our lives, although extremely different, are filled with similar stories, setbacks and sad truths. And if there is anything that I've learned from watching many Rocky Movie Marathons on Spike, it's that no matter who you are, where you're from, whether you're a rookie, a veteran, a has-been or a never-was-been we can all fight, we can all go twelve rounds, fifteen rounds or even twenty rounds...when fighting in the ring of life.
So in the words of Rocky Balboa we must remember:
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
Ding. Ding. Ding. Round One. Fight.
Until next time...
4.09.2012
Punching bag of truth
I ran into an old classmate not to long ago. We weren't friends nor would I consider this person, who I'll refer to as that guy, an acquaintance. I didn't know that guy, nor did that guy know me. Yet, all through high school that guy was nothing but rude and a bit of a bully.
I don't know much about that guy, nor did I make an attempt to, but I assume that it was that guy's friends that brought out his meanness, the pressure of fitting in and keeping with the "tough guy" image most likely provoked it...it doesn't excuse the fact that he was a royal ass bag.
For a long time now it's been my message to the teens and others around me that we shouldn't hold grudges and that we're called to forgive, yet I couldn't come to terms with. It was hard to restrain myself from going up to that guy and saying:" Hey dude, remember me? You were a jerkus back in the day and I can tell that you're doing quite well. You look healthy, maybe a good 35 lbs. heavier, your tats look great I'm sure the ladies love 'em and that's why you're not married..." or something like that.
It wasn't until I had been in the same room as him for a good few minutes that I convinced myself that I should strike up a conversation and get over myself, but decided it best to wait until next time since it would be weird to just talk as I'm about to leave.
My point is this, grudge or no grudge, having pent up frustrations or anger towards someone who was a royal Delta Bravo (DB) to you in the past and shunning him or her makes you no better than that guy. Look at any genuine difference maker in the history of the world: MLK, Gandhi, JC, George Washington, the list goes on. They all befriended anyone and everyone to continue on changing the world. It wasn't until today that I realized my inability to get over my selfish mindset towards a past forgettable memory makes me no better than that guy himself while being that guy to me all through high school. By being full of angst and anger makes me just as bad as the bully himself...and I'm better than that.
I'm sure that we've all been there. Stuck with a past fling, a former bully, a boss you can't stand, whomever that guy is in your life. It's time, in today's day in age, to get over ourselves and be that better man and become more accepting. That's the manliest thing you can do, especially in a society that needs more men to be men.
I don't know much about that guy, nor did I make an attempt to, but I assume that it was that guy's friends that brought out his meanness, the pressure of fitting in and keeping with the "tough guy" image most likely provoked it...it doesn't excuse the fact that he was a royal ass bag.
For a long time now it's been my message to the teens and others around me that we shouldn't hold grudges and that we're called to forgive, yet I couldn't come to terms with. It was hard to restrain myself from going up to that guy and saying:" Hey dude, remember me? You were a jerkus back in the day and I can tell that you're doing quite well. You look healthy, maybe a good 35 lbs. heavier, your tats look great I'm sure the ladies love 'em and that's why you're not married..." or something like that.
It wasn't until I had been in the same room as him for a good few minutes that I convinced myself that I should strike up a conversation and get over myself, but decided it best to wait until next time since it would be weird to just talk as I'm about to leave.
My point is this, grudge or no grudge, having pent up frustrations or anger towards someone who was a royal Delta Bravo (DB) to you in the past and shunning him or her makes you no better than that guy. Look at any genuine difference maker in the history of the world: MLK, Gandhi, JC, George Washington, the list goes on. They all befriended anyone and everyone to continue on changing the world. It wasn't until today that I realized my inability to get over my selfish mindset towards a past forgettable memory makes me no better than that guy himself while being that guy to me all through high school. By being full of angst and anger makes me just as bad as the bully himself...and I'm better than that.
I'm sure that we've all been there. Stuck with a past fling, a former bully, a boss you can't stand, whomever that guy is in your life. It's time, in today's day in age, to get over ourselves and be that better man and become more accepting. That's the manliest thing you can do, especially in a society that needs more men to be men.
4.08.2012
Happy Easter
The Romans had technological advances that would put the Industrial Revolution to shame...had they not collapse. The Chinese created a printing press before 0 A.D...but most didn't know how to read. Around the same time, they also discovered gun powder...but never gave guns to their soldiers. Humankind has potential, but ends up short in the end and doesn't always come through. Only one person has done it all and never disappointed...Jesus. Today he rises, after he died for our sins and even through death, he came through. Happy Easter everyone!
4.02.2012
Batman ain't got nothing on me
Wouldn't it be great if life was easy? As if any time you were faced with a problem or an opportunity or find yourself standing at a cross roads a large arrow would appear and show you which path to take or even a cartoon-like figure would appear and in a Yoda-like way would guide you along the way.
Since I can't have God on speed dial, I'm looking for a sign...God maybe you could use the Matt Signal so I can see it and get it right. It would be our own special means of communication so when I'm lost or need answers, like now, you could use it so I know that I'm doing what you want me to.
...and what would the Matt Signal look like you ask?
I'm not quite sure, but it would be so much cooler than the Bat Signal. If I had to draw a picture it would shine brightly in the sky above me and would be an image of a large man with a Santa-like beard wearing a robe and sandals whacking a kid in the face with a 2X4 and underneath it, it would read something like: "It's me, listen."
Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy? But where would be the fun in life then if it were easy.
Until next time...
Since I can't have God on speed dial, I'm looking for a sign...God maybe you could use the Matt Signal so I can see it and get it right. It would be our own special means of communication so when I'm lost or need answers, like now, you could use it so I know that I'm doing what you want me to.
...and what would the Matt Signal look like you ask?
I'm not quite sure, but it would be so much cooler than the Bat Signal. If I had to draw a picture it would shine brightly in the sky above me and would be an image of a large man with a Santa-like beard wearing a robe and sandals whacking a kid in the face with a 2X4 and underneath it, it would read something like: "It's me, listen."
Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy? But where would be the fun in life then if it were easy.
Until next time...
4.01.2012
Your revolUtion begins with you
A couple of weeks ago I entered into a conversation before class with a few of the teens who had begun discussing the current issues facing our country. Rising gas prices, violence in other countries, increased unemployment, etc. The teens passionately shared their views and their hopes. The discussion was energizing. I proposed a question to the group: "Why don't you do something about it?" Their responses were typical of kids their age, and sadly the same most Americans tend to go with, and that is that they are not able to, are too young or not in a position to do such an act of valor.
I told them they were wrong. I said it doesn't matter how old you are, what you do, or who you are. If you don't act, who will? Write your Congressman, educate yourself and others, create a mini revolution, etc. They laughed at me, so I used it as a "teaching" moment.
I said: You know, Mary was your age when Gabrielle came down and told her about what was going to happen and she accepted. She was young and made a difference. We still talk about her decision today. A good number of our Founding Fathers were in their twenties and considered revolutionaries. The founder of Facebook is a college drop out and a bagillionaire...
The point of this story isn't to spark a revolution or even discuss current events. The world is a scary place. Society is scary. Life tends to suck and there isn't enough time to do everything we need to do, let alone want to do. The point is that when we look at our own lives we can do one of two things. We can sit back watch it go by, complain about how shitty it is, worry about tomorrow and try and get sympathy from anything or anyone that will give it. Or we can accept what's going on regardless of it being crappy,and make the most of it, then move on. A mini personal revolution.
I look at my own life. Just the other day I got the call from the job I anticipated would hire me. I had had two strong interviews and they made it sound like a done deal. The job that I thought I would have by the end of March, called to tell me that they were not going to hire at this time. Aside from that minor set back, I still live at home. There is no long term commitment of anything, and sadly anyone, in my life right now, nor is there anything concrete or clear. I could sit and sulk, but that's not constructive. I have analyzed my situation. I have reflected, worried, studied, prayed, freaked out and accepted everything...then I moved on. I have set out to apply for a job a day until I get something. Every "no" and every lack of response is just one closer to the one. I could be sad that I've batted 0-2 on the last two dates I've been on, but I've realized it's their loss and just makes me one more closer to the one. Writing, working out, hiking, and other productive tasks have taken precedence over worry, stress and the whoa is me mentality.
It reminds me of a story that I once heard about when the Master talked about a priceless antique bowl that was worth a fortune at a public auction. For years it had been used by a "tramp who ended his days in poverty, quite unaware of the value of the bowl with which he begged for pennies."
His disciples asked what the beggar's bowl stood for and his response was "your self!"
When they seemed puzzled, lost and confused, he responded with: "All your attention is focused on the penny knowledge you collect from books and teachers. You would do better to pay attention to the bowl in wish you hold it."
As we live our lives worried about tomorrow. Scared for what lies ahead. Nervous about where we are in our social standing, where we sit in the hierarchy of friends and if "we're where we need to be." We should really not dwell on nothing more than where we are right now. To become focused solely on ourselves, today, whether good or bad. We must accept what we know of our lives right now and work to make the most of it as we press on. Like the beggar we hold our own bowl that is worth more than anything in the world and must make the most of it and that's our own life that we get to live. We only get one. Live it today and worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes...just remember we can only control the next three seconds. One. Two. Three. Repeat.
Until next time...
I told them they were wrong. I said it doesn't matter how old you are, what you do, or who you are. If you don't act, who will? Write your Congressman, educate yourself and others, create a mini revolution, etc. They laughed at me, so I used it as a "teaching" moment.
I said: You know, Mary was your age when Gabrielle came down and told her about what was going to happen and she accepted. She was young and made a difference. We still talk about her decision today. A good number of our Founding Fathers were in their twenties and considered revolutionaries. The founder of Facebook is a college drop out and a bagillionaire...
The point of this story isn't to spark a revolution or even discuss current events. The world is a scary place. Society is scary. Life tends to suck and there isn't enough time to do everything we need to do, let alone want to do. The point is that when we look at our own lives we can do one of two things. We can sit back watch it go by, complain about how shitty it is, worry about tomorrow and try and get sympathy from anything or anyone that will give it. Or we can accept what's going on regardless of it being crappy,and make the most of it, then move on. A mini personal revolution.
I look at my own life. Just the other day I got the call from the job I anticipated would hire me. I had had two strong interviews and they made it sound like a done deal. The job that I thought I would have by the end of March, called to tell me that they were not going to hire at this time. Aside from that minor set back, I still live at home. There is no long term commitment of anything, and sadly anyone, in my life right now, nor is there anything concrete or clear. I could sit and sulk, but that's not constructive. I have analyzed my situation. I have reflected, worried, studied, prayed, freaked out and accepted everything...then I moved on. I have set out to apply for a job a day until I get something. Every "no" and every lack of response is just one closer to the one. I could be sad that I've batted 0-2 on the last two dates I've been on, but I've realized it's their loss and just makes me one more closer to the one. Writing, working out, hiking, and other productive tasks have taken precedence over worry, stress and the whoa is me mentality.
It reminds me of a story that I once heard about when the Master talked about a priceless antique bowl that was worth a fortune at a public auction. For years it had been used by a "tramp who ended his days in poverty, quite unaware of the value of the bowl with which he begged for pennies."
His disciples asked what the beggar's bowl stood for and his response was "your self!"
When they seemed puzzled, lost and confused, he responded with: "All your attention is focused on the penny knowledge you collect from books and teachers. You would do better to pay attention to the bowl in wish you hold it."
As we live our lives worried about tomorrow. Scared for what lies ahead. Nervous about where we are in our social standing, where we sit in the hierarchy of friends and if "we're where we need to be." We should really not dwell on nothing more than where we are right now. To become focused solely on ourselves, today, whether good or bad. We must accept what we know of our lives right now and work to make the most of it as we press on. Like the beggar we hold our own bowl that is worth more than anything in the world and must make the most of it and that's our own life that we get to live. We only get one. Live it today and worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes...just remember we can only control the next three seconds. One. Two. Three. Repeat.
Until next time...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)