Jesus is a Punk Rocker

The genre and lifestyle of punk rock has been given a bad rap through the years and rightfully so. As a onetime high school punk poser I can tell you that it had its ups and downs, the good and the bad, and (like everything) its dark sides. By definition it is a form of rock music marked by extreme and often deliberately offensive expressions of alienation and social discontent (Webster’s Online). I’m not going to touch the offensive or alienation aspects, but those could definitely apply towards my points later on. But with the little experience I have being a onetime self-proclaimed ‘punk rocker’ and my affection for the musical genre I believe there is nothing more punk rock than Jesus.

When The Clash asked if they should stay or should they go now, Christ decided to come (Incarnation), go (Passion) and then come back (Resurrection) only to go again (Ascension). As the Sex Pistols sarcastically asked God to save the Queen, God saved us all by the death of His only son.

It’s been known that punk rockers tend to be anarchists following a movement to ‘up the establishment’ and to ‘stick it to the man’ for their self-righteous cause. Common punk ideologies and beliefs are progressive to say the least and include anti-authoritarianism, a DIY ethic, non-conformity, direct action and all the while not selling out.

 

Christ created a progressive movement for salvation that challenged the establish order of the day, it encouraged the participation of women when no one else did and it reached out to the sick, adulters and everyone else society turned their backs on. He gave the big middle finger towards conforming to societal sickness and individual ideologies that were causing a moral decline, while refusing to sellout. His cause was noble and it called for a DIY approach through preaching to the disciples and sending them forth on a mission as we are called to do so two thousand some years later. The message was a clear call for authentic action.

It was about the 1960’s when punk took shape and was seen as an innovative and exciting new genre of music. The music was pure, stripped down, no BS rock 'n' roll. In hindsight isn’t that the basic message JC and the boys set out to preach? Sure a lot of it has been lost in translation through the years and tweaked by the old gray hairs down town and even watered down by evangelists and capitalists, but was the original message not pure and clear cut? The fat trimmed and the BS pulled. That’s what has made it so authentic and inspiring for billions to go into action, while challenged the established order of the day.

It’s fair to say by now you’re thinking I’m off my rocker or maybe you’re completely outraged by what I’ve tossed out. Comparing the Big Guy and punk rock is a bit of a stretch let alone calling God's only son a punk rocker. Maybe my image is a bit too progressive or polarizing and it is. But I got you thinking and challenged the norm and that’s punk rock!


Until next time...

Live with Purpose or Die Trying!

Here’s a fun thought: How do you think you’re going to die?

It’s a fact of life. It’s inevitable. Even though we all live different lives, follow different paths and are dealt different cards we all end up dying.

The other day I found myself at the longest red light in town and began reading the airbag warning. As I read I thought to myself I sure hope that I’ll never have to use them. A couple of weeks ago I was informed of someone who had just been diagnosed with cancer and I began wondering what, if any, form of cancer I might one day get or will I have a stroke, develop a form of diabetes or die in a car accident. Which after any thought like that comes the fearful, but honest thought: How am I going to die? Of course quickly followed by the want to just live in a bubble or compound where everything was sterile and outlined in bubble wrap and no one has any violent tendencies or prone to accidents.

Wouldn’t it put your mind at ease to know how and when your end would come or even decide to live life ‘safe,’ free from any risk or to choose to follow every doctor’s report about eating ‘this super food’ or try ‘that new drug’ so you could prevent X?

The sad fact is that there is nothing more we can do to prevent death or rid our lives of fear except to simply make the most of each day and remind ourselves that if we have the Big Guy in our corner there is nothing for us to fear (psalms 118:6). It’s easier said than done, but if we have a belief in Him, and trust in the Holy Spirit in our lives, nothing will be impossible for us. We can move mountains, live life fully and without having to just lay it up. It’s through the Spirit that we have been given the strength to overcome anything by the spirit of power, love and self-discipline (2 Tim 1:7) that we have been given by God. But it comes into our lives, and into our hearts, when we choose to accept this relationship with God and pray for the Holy Spirit to make us stronger – to be more Christ like in all that we do.

It’s a great thought to reflect on this Lenten season. Let go of our fears regardless of what those may be. Whether it’s the fear of snakes, heights, being shot down by a girl, clowns, complacency, falling flat on your ass or even death lift it up in prayer and move mountains with reckless abandon. It is said that one of the greatest fears is the fear of the unknown, but the unknown is also one of life’s biggest adventures and a loving, fruitful one if you just trust you’ll be safely guided along the way.

Until next time…

God the Comedian: An Eternal Last Laugh

An adaptation of my first major grad school paper, ‘Ideal Image of God,’ including references to the Incarnation, Trinity and Gift of Grace.

Every day it appears that a lot will take place that we don’t understand. Whether it’s another broken heart, a failed project at work or just a discouraging chapter of your life, there is a lot that is thrown our way that we ask “why” or question how God could allow it to happen to us. Like when you’ve begun dating someone and everything seems to be going so well. You pray that you’re making the right decision of being with her or that something can grow from this and that she might be blessed with clarity in her decision as well. Only to learn she met someone prior and things progressed, see you later dater or for unexplained reasons you decide to skip a show you’ve been waiting to come to town and you end up getting drinks, consoling a friend in need. It seems that we have times in our lives where we are berated by bad jokes by the Big Guy and when you least expect it, it all makes sense…eventually.

That is why God can be seen much like a really bad comedian. The kind where joke after joke you struggle to understand what’s going on. The type where you’re unable to comprehend the point and fail to grasp the purpose, but at the end of each set He closes with a real zinger – a real doozy of a joke that leaves you hungry for more and motivates you to go out to proclaim its greatness.

As Christians we know that God has done a lot of unexplainable things for the world, for the Church, and in our daily lives; many things we can’t even fathom when we experience them. The author of our Divine Comedy gave us the always confusing endowment of Free Will, created the Heavens and the earth, gave us the sun and the moon, and at one time experimented with the concept of the duck billed platypus. But what may be one of the most impressive of God’s contributions towards our lives is what I’ll refer to as the opening act of the routine: The Incarnation.
The Incarnation was the moment when the Word – God’s message – was made flesh so that we might know His love for all of us. The Word became the model of holiness; a real life model to emulate. We passionately profess this belief in the Incarnation when we confess in the Nicene Creed “for us men and for our salvation He came down from heaven; by the power of the Holy Spirit, he became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, and was made man.”

According to the Catechism, the Word became flesh for us “in order to save us by reconciling us with God, who ‘loved us and sent His son to be the expiation for our sins’” (Catholic Church 457). Because there would be many times in our lives where we would falter to our fears and cave to our temptations we were given this real life example of how to live out our lives. Much like a 3D version of “The Idiots Guide to Living a Holy Life”, God gave us The Teacher of all teachers; the most righteous of role models for us to imitate in our daily lives. So that not only would we have the Word to follow, we were given the way, the truth and the life in His only son, Christ. We as one Church are called to live the life that God showed us in word and in flesh, which brings us to God’s shtick of the great comedic routine.
It is through the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) that we experience God in three forms. This can be seen not just as the shtick, but as the avenue in which the punch line and routine are lived out throughout the entirety of the routine. God knew we would struggle throughout our lives with many of the hurdles put before us and the word became flesh so that we might know God’s love. Instead of sitting in the comforts of His apostolic palace in the clouds, laughing at our regular bouts of ridiculousness, we were given God’s love through The Word, His only son and through the Holy Spirit. We know that God chose to reveal Himself and make known to us – and for us – the hidden purpose of His will. The Vatican II document Dei Verbum tells us that it was through Christ that the Word was made flesh so through the Holy Spirit, we as followers would have access to the Father and ultimately come to share in the divine nature of God’s presence in our lives (DV #2).

As we struggle to grasp our shortcomings, we are given all the tools to attempt to handle the difficulties. With the help of the Father’s Word and the example of His son, it is the Holy Spirit that can guide us to a better understanding of what mountains lay before us; never leaving us on our own to conquer them. Although at times it will feel like we are inching closer to the edge of that mountain or that we’re to go it alone on a deserted island to fend for ourselves, we always have our Mickey yelling at us from the corner of the ring as we go fifteen rounds with life (Rocky Balboa reference #1) it just takes time to hear it.

A story comes to mind that I recently heard from a young woman who is working as a missionary with NET. She had mentioned that her younger brother, who once was a believer and devout Catholic, turned away from his faith just as many young adults do. For years she prayed for him to come back to his faith and would frequently encourage her brother to open his ear to God’s call. Then one sleepless night he had a dream where Jesus made a guest appearance. Christ entered his dream that night and told the young man that He is with him wanting him always and to come back the Lord. The next morning he awoke and with no explanation, aside from the dream, believed once again.

It is moments like that dream which exemplifies God’s presence through the Holy Spirit. It is through a dream, a moving conversation with a friend (even when missing a quality show you were dying to see), or a gracious act of a stranger when we least expect it, that reminds us that the Holy Spirit is present in our lives always. It is the Holy Spirit that humbles us at the end of a bitter onslaught of craziness that comes our way. Just another way the Lord will continue to throw so much our way, but be there for that last laugh as it hits us that He is along for the rollercoaster ride with us.
Like every good standup routine there comes the closer, the takeaway, the spirit of the set that stays with you after the experience. In this case it comes in the form of God’s grace. In order for us to grow in our faith “the grace of God and the interior help of the Holy Spirit must precede and assist, moving the heart and turning it to God,” (DV #5) which opens our eyes in time of need and fills our hearts with joy in times of sorrow. We all come across rough patches in our lives that leave us empty and lost, afraid of what might be, but according to Gaudium et Spes it is only by the aid of God's grace that we can bring such a relationship with God into full flower (GS # 13).

It is through experiencing God fully in the Trinity that we can receive His grace and like a good joke we then take it to share with others. As we proclaim the joke or an experience of God in our life, we share God’s grace. “Grace works in an unseen way” (GS #31) in the hearts of all those we meet. Since our calling is to live a divine life here on earth we are to believe the “Holy Spirit, in a manner known only to God, offers to every man the possibility of being associated with this paschal mystery” (GS #32).

Too often do we as followers of God find ourselves blinded by the hesitations and disbeliefs of what is taking place in our lives. Yet God calls out in the Gospel of John “my sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10: 27-28). How many times do we fail to hear the punch line and see the point? We bear to withstand a barrage of bad jokes only to be struck in our heart the passionate punch line of God’s hope and joy.

A couple of years ago I found myself out east backpacking the White Mountains. A month removed from being a youth minister and recently out of a devastating relationship I questioned God every day. One day as I sat meditating at the summit of Mount Washington I found myself engulfed in a thick afternoon fog so I closed my eyes and prayed some more. I asked “Lord, how can I continue going on if I don’t ever get a sign from you that I’m doing what you want me to be doing?” What felt like hours later I opened my eyes to find that the fog had lifted, the sun shone brightly and a bald eagle flew before me. There was my sign and there was God ending His set for me with the zinger that left me breathless and my veins full of His grace after taking on a bitch of a beating for months. It was as if Christ spoke not just in Scripture but to me through the Holy Spirit on the mountain and said, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matt. 14:31).

Whether God is actually the greatest comedian of all time, but we fail to understand the buildup before the punch line, or if it’s simply that God is just a really bad comedian who ends with a real zinger - one thing is for sure, we are loved. No matter what is tossed our way we are never to go it alone. Through the Grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit we are continually led by our Creator and shown the way through the Word, examples Christ lived for us, and in the grace shared through those around us. Although there is still a lot of questions left unanswered and what feels like lonely mountains to climb, I'm assuming the punch line of the second coming can only be pretty epic.



Until next time...

The Garden of Weedin'

This spring I took on a new endeavor of getting a plot in a local community garden. After cooking all winter with 'fresh' veggies and herbs from the store I would have a trash can full of wrappers and a recycling bin piled high with cans. Then it hit me that it would be so cool to take on a garden...until I stood at the edge of the garden for the first time and had to weed the damn thing.

When I visited the plot after some time away an entire forest of greenery had grown around my plants. I knelt on the hard, cracked dirt to pull weeds around my 'harvest.' As I fought off the discomfort of kneeling for a couple hours on a thin piece of foam it dawned on me how unbelievably frustrating this whole thing seems. In the grand scheme of things a 20x20 plot is truly nothing, but doing it alone - and without a clue of what I'm doing - seems damn near impossible.

The ground was tough to break through and the dense weeds appeared to stand taller, as if sticking its chest out in the air to boast that it had beaten me. The moment that I thought I was making progress I looked beyond the three foot radius of my initial assault on the annoying agriculture only to see that I had another 391 square feet to go. It was discouraging, demoralizing and worst of all, painful. I felt alone on a tiny dirt island of doubt thinking that maybe I had taken on too much as I was surrounded by a sea of green leafy weeds.

Near the end of my late afternoon’s work, I arrived at my final plant. A hot pepper plant, standing nearly one foot tall. On it, hidden underneath a flawlessly shaped leaf, was the tiniest little thing that almost resembled a miniature pepper. A pepper that two weeks ago did not exist and around that plant was the intoxicating aroma of the spicy cilantro from nearly three feet away.

When I had finished weeding I watered the little guy and the other sprouting veggies, herbs and melon surrounding it. Then it hit me that maybe, just maybe, all the sweat, pain and sun could be worth it. That even through the pulling of the weeds (that will grow back in a few days) and muscling through the man eating garden spiders and laughing off the old retired men at the plots around me laughing at my attempts to garden, just maybe this will be blossom into a bountiful harvest. An end of summer reward for all the long hours, hot days and frustrating fun in the sun.

Our faith is a lot like my garden endeavor if you think about it. In order to have a great harvest you can't just sprinkle a little water on your plot every once in a while and expect a great outcome; much like you can't pray every once and again to expect miracles or a relationship with God to blossom in your life. In attempting to grow spiritually you will feel weak and intimidated, lost and alone, doubtful and distraught, just as any true warrior of the top soil may feel taking on the forest of constantly growing weeds. Our weaknesses towards certain temptations creep up as quick as those weeds; that no matter how many times you pull them, and no matter what you do to treat them, they always seem to creep their way back.

In Matt we read that the harvest is “abundant but the laborers are few (Matt 9:37).” There is so much goodness for us to receive in our own lives as long as we are following the righteous path and living a life full of love, but so few willing to take on the task. The harvest can be daunting, overwhelming and lonely, much as it was when I first stepped foot in the plot overwhelmed by what stood before me. I went into the task of gardening knowing that I’d pull some weeds, water some plants and boom…I’d have food. But it’s not that easy nor that simple, just like our faith. In our own lives we know exactly what it is we need to do (on paper) to be happy, to love and to get into Heaven, but we still become overwhelmed by the realization that we actually don’t know how to do it properly. The Bible, just like a Gardening for Idiots book, explains to us what to do along the way and how to overcome many different challenges, it’s just a matter of us properly following what has been shared and then applying it daily.

Even the best of gardeners and farmers have a lousy harvest from time to time and even the most disciplined of theologians struggle spiritually. It’s just a matter of us trying to keep those pesky weeds and weaknesses at bay by getting to them at their roots. And to do more than just sprinkle a little water from time to time or pray when we only want something. We must overcome the weeds in our lives and love daily, even through the hate, the disgust and the pain. It is then, and only then, that along our path we may see the fruits of our labors and see how truly abundant the harvest truly is. It just takes overcoming one weed at a time.



But we must always remember that no matter how many weeds surround our harvest and no matter how much we must endure to see the fruits of our labor

I'm Not Worthy That You Should Enter Under My Roof...But How About A Beer?

I found my mind wandering at Church the other day thinking about something during the part of Mass when the congregation says the prayer before Holy Communion: Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed. These are the words straight from our buddies Matt (8:8) and Luke (7:6), where the Centurion spoke to Jesus and we recite them every Sunday as we prepare ourselves to receive Him in the Eucharist.

While we were praying this prayer aloud, I caught myself saying another prayer: Lord, I am certainly not worthy enough to have you enter under my roof – although I have a nice apartment that’s typically tidy and have a fridge full of healthy snacks and home brews – I surely am not even cool enough to be in the same vicinity as you, but only say those simple words and hopefully, hopefully, my soul shall be healed.

It came to me during that portion of Mass that it would be so cool to have the big guy come down and chill with me for the day in my apartment. We could catch a game, drink some wine (heard he knows quite the party trick that folks still talk about today) and share some laughs. We could discuss things like the meaning of life, faith, love and maybe even have him help me pick numbers for next week’s lotto or help choose players for next year’s fantasy football team. I’d ask him things like, why He let my Grandma die while I was so little and my brother die so young? I’d ask Him why he hates Cleveland sports and why He was nonexistent in my middle school years; why I didn’t know Him better in the toughest years of my life? I’d demand answers to how he could allow events like last week’s tragedy take place. And I'd have to ask him the ever so popular icebreaker question, if he could meet one person, dead or alive, who would He choose (cuz he can't say himself, like nine out of ten people)? If he came into Casa de Lofy, I would totally tweet about who I was hanging out with, I’d update Facebook minute by minute, and of course, see if he’d wingman me downtown for the night. The list goes on…

All joking aside, as I prayed this in Mass it made me think of two questions. First, what would I do if he did enter under my roof (see above for my thoughts), and secondly, who is worthy?

The answer is no one. No one is worthy of such an experience. But we should try are darnedest to become so. Striving to become so pure, so disciplined and become more Christlike in all that we do. And maybe, just maybe, one Sunday, when we pray aloud our prayer, we will be able to say: Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof - and I know this, but I am striving to be more like you: Courageous, loving and compassionate - but only say the word - and I hope one day you'll say those words, oh how I do - my soul shall be healed.

Jump roping, bowling pin juggling, truths of Grace

A couple of weeks ago I was at the rec and I was stretching in an area away from everyone. I shared the space with a guy who would randomly break into an impromptu dance party. His music from his iPod was so loud that it over powered the music I had playing through my headphones. He'd push out a quick set with the dumbbells and break it down like he was a backup dancer at a hip hop show or a member of a rec center boy band.

I sat, stretching, baffled by what was happening. All I could do was laugh in my head, and make jokes, of how incredibly redonkulous he looked. Then it hit me moments later as his dance moves evolved into a modified jump rope motion. He was dancing, but was also incorporating an interval jump rope set in between sets, minus one thing: The jump rope.

How easy is it for us to see something and think one thing and not even begin to understand what is happening before us.

Like with Christ,we don't know where He is leading us, let alone what is happening before us. He wants into our lives, yet often times we try it alone, without His presence

Last month I was at the FEST in Cleveland and took part in an XLT, Eucharistic Adoration, in the Chapel. Bishop Gries gave a powerful testament of allowing Christ in our lives.

There was a man on the interstate who was pulled over by a trooper for speeding. The officer approached the vehicle of the man and noticed in the backseat a gallon of gasoline, four bowling pins, matches and a wig. He asked the driver why he had such random items in his possession. The driver replied that he was a clown in the circus in town and his main trick was juggling bowling pins that were lit on fire.

The officer, who thought he had heard every excuse in his days of patrolling the highways, asked the driver to prove it. The driver exited his car, lit a fire on the ends of the bowling pins and began juggling on the side of the highway for the officer.

A man who was driving with his wife slowed down as he took notice to what was happening to the man who had been pulled over. He turned to his wife and said, "If that's some sort of field sobriety check then I'm screwed. I quit drinking."

We all see events and chapters in our lives differently then what is truly happening to us. How it is effecting us. How we are growing physically, mentally and spiritually. How it is forcing us to grow closer to the Lord. We find ourselves confused and often times overwhelmed by what we see and not what the Lord wants us to see. It's at those moments that we must ask the Lord to enter into our hearts and we must force ourselves to listen to Him. Those are the times we must seek our His grace and feed our spirit by receiving Him through the Eucharist. Sit before Him and ask His forgiveness, seek out His strength and courage. Place yourself in His presence and adore Him.

So many people, especially young adults, try so hard to create careers, begin a new life, start families and take a stab at trying to be a big kid. They strive to work their way up the corporate ladder with reckless abandon. Spend weekends exploring the pubs and clubs of the city on a hunt, much like explorers of the African Serengeti in search for wild prey. They spend countless rounds a night in pursuit of that endangered species...someone sane, without baggage, that will love them and make it their goal to always make them happy.

Yet we don't seem to take the time to fine tune the relationship that means the most. To take a break from the machine that is our routine, to grow deeper in the one place in our life that will actually bring the love and happiness we so desperately need and that's through our relationship with Christ.

Much like the guy dancing during his work out, and the husband in the car passing by the juggler, we all see what is in front of us, but fail to go deeper or try to see past what is happening to try and grasp the reality of what's going on. Ultimately forcing us to remember what it is we need most...a relationship with Christ. Instead of focusing more on advancing your career or picking up that girl at the bar on Saturday, and all those other things that make us temporarily happy. Try to focus on God's Grace and letting it enter in your life. See the endless possibilities of a life of happiness from now through eternity.


Until next time...

I fought a blind man ... and lost

Have you ever been at a sporting event, concert or even walking the streets of New York City and become overwhelmed by the chaos of trying to walk around? That certain time when there's so much going on and everyone is walking in every which way, but one that makes sense? Then just like that, you snap. You grow angry, anxious and aggravated.

There was an instance when I was at an outdoor festival up in Cleveland, a Christian event to make this story even better, and it became crowded. There were folks walking in every direction, bumping into one another and were without a care in the world for anyone outside of their own personalbubble. To make things worse, I was there all day working at three different locations, all strategically placed to cause me to just erupt with frustration or eventually collapse with exhaustion. Either way, it didn't help that it was also a bajillion degrees out.

I figured the only thing at that time that could calm me down was a beer, but since it was a Christian event there was none, but a Johnsonville brat seemed to take a close second. I found myself waiting in a never ending line for one fresh off the world's longest grill. As I neared the end a group of people came to join the person ahead of me; five people to be exact. I grew livid and was screaming insanities in my head. Then this one man joined them and bumped into me, causing me to leave my spot and fall from the line. If I wasn't already at my breaking point, this was the final straw.

In my head I thought to myself many things, many of the adjectives I used were only four lettered. I thought to myself Look at this guy! Is he a jerk? Does he just not care? Is he blind? How could he not see me? . It was at the time I was about to confront him - "Hey chief, ya blind? Did ya not see me or are you just that ignorant..." - that I quickly learned how I was actually the one who was the jerk.

As I bit my lip, he turned to apologize. His hat blocked most of his face and his eyes hid behind his large dark sunglasses as he glared over me. He had his right arm locked with the woman next to him, most likely his wife. In his left hand...a thin white stick with a red tip. The man who had bumped into me, the man who caused me to grow angered, was blind. He could not see me. Yet although he was the one in line who physically could not see, I was the one in all reality who was blind.

Christ teaches us that we are always in his presence even when we are blind. In the book of Psalms it says "I was stupid and could not understand; I was like a brute beast in your presence. Yet I am always with you; you take hold of my right hand (Psalm 73: 22-23)."

He reminds us time and time again to open our eyes - physically and spiritually - to hear His message. The big guy calls us to remain compassionate and understanding, even when it just drives us crazy. Whether it's at a large event like the one in my story, on the highway in rush hour or even with that one person who drives us the craziest.

As we "neither know, nor understand; as we wander about in darkness, and it seems all the world’s foundations shake (Psalms 82:5)" we are called to continue to search for love and compassion. We are reminded in Proverbs that "The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know on what they stumble (Proverbs 4:19)." We all stumble. We all grow angry. We all are led into darkness. But we must remember that it is then, when grow blind, grow angered, lonely, tired, fill in how you feel today, that we are called to open our eyes and trust in the Lord. He tells us as we stumble "My son, to my words be attentive, to my sayings incline your ear; Let them not slip from your sight, keep them within your heart; For they are life to those who find them (Proverbs 4:20-22)."

A few moments after the man apologized I got my brat and I took it to a nearby park. For a half hour I sat on a bench, devoured my brat and sipped my water as I began to pray. I grew relaxed and was at peace. It was hard to imagine at that moment in time how I could let myself to grow that angry and ignorant...especially at Jesus-Stock. Yet, I chose to be driven by my anger to be led blindly. It just took almost picking a fight with someone who was actually blind, to show me that.

Adventure, the new endangered species

What happened to the days of adventure? Those summer days as a kid where the only time you were home was for breakfast, dinner and bed? Where the sun was your clock and sun down meant be home before it was too late. Those days where kids actually played outside. Your imagination was your source of entertainment, pick up games of ball with the neighborhood kids was your gaming system and it was alright for young men to get in trouble for acting like a boy and not be given a title of hyper active, A.D.D or A.D.H.D.

Those days of old where the ice cream truck was driven by a cute college girl that as a young man you could only dream of one day having as your girlfriend. The days where you rode your bike outside, sought out adventure and some days even got dirty.

Just the other day the ice cream truck drove by and I was excited to see the beautiful college coed, but it was a middle aged, over weight balding guy. When you want to turn on the TV for some music you no longer turn to MTV - Music Television - you must order MTV 2 or MTV 3 for that, and on the topic of television there is no longer history on the History Channel; that's what H2 is for now. Ball fields have grow dustier and not because the drought, but because of the dust piled up due to the lack of use. The newest item added to the endangered species list is adventure, soon to be followed by imagination.

My point is this, we as a society seem to lack that drive for adventure. Nearly 81% of all high school age girls own a Northface jacket and 95% of college girls own two of the same style, but I'm willing to bet if you polled the adventure-wannabees less than a quarter of them actually do anything physical outside in the cold months (all statistics are made up and based off years in ministry and attending a private college).

The only mountains we seem to climb are the mountain of files piling up on our desks and the stack of bills at home. Our only escape away from the stresses of being an adult is plopping down and watching "reality" TV that is anything but reality. We gawk over shows on the travel channel with beautiful white sandy beeches on exotic islands, we DVR episodes of house hunters to see the houses we'll never own, we fantasize of adventures involving fighting bad guys or romanticize of finding the love of our lives by watching a chick flick or newest Stallone movie. But most of us never experience any of it, because we're plugged into either a computer, a phone, an iPad or some other electrical device that has become our life. We've lost our will to truly live life and seek out adventure. We've stopped listening to the inner child that has, for years, been screaming for your attention.

In Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13 is says: “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to heal; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…I recognized that there is nothing better than to rejoice and to do well during life — (for) this is a gift of God (paraphrased).”

Just over a week ago I lost my brother. He died from what we believe was a heart attack. In all the pain of what has happened I realized he taught me a great lesson on how to live life. It wasn't until an uplifting conversation with my spiritual director and hours of discernment as I began writing a eulogy for his funeral that I listened to his message.

He taught that if you’re unhappy with where your life is heading and have become beaten down by it's draining ways, life’s way too short, each day too precious, to allow it to slip from your grasp and prevent you from doing the things you want most. He did just that. The last year of his life he gave up his job, moved out of his home and left town just to travel, to seek out adventure.

He took time to do the things he wanted to do before he died. Against the judgement, and opinions, of my Dad and other loved ones in his life he did as much as he could, knowing that he was young and that he didn't know when his time would come. And in my humble opinion, there is no more righteous of a way to leave this place. For I believe with all the love in my heart, he is sitting up in those pearly gates of Heaven smiling, watching down on us and saying… “I ate and I drank and I enjoyed all the good of all of life’s toil...(for) this is a gift of God and I lived it until my final days." He recognized that there was nothing better, nothing that made him more glad than to live life well (paraphrased Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13).

Quoting Emilio Estevez, the Mighty Duck man himself: "You don't choose a life; you live one." Start living yours today. Climb those mountains. Unplug yourself from electronics and plug yourself into adventure. Seek out those white sandy beaches only a Sandals commercial can bring you. Travel to far off lands to eat those disgusting dishes those guys on the food network bring you. Begin living your life today and worry about tomorrow as it comes to you.


Until next time...

25 years of folklores and record stores

Patience. What a stern word. It's disciplined, deserving respect for anyone who can proudly boast that that word would, and could, describe such a person. Patience, is something we all want, and most wish was a skill they possessed in their bag of tricks, myself included.

Think about how tense you are driving the highway to work as others speed past you, hurried and on their way to work. How anxious and unresponsive a boss or coworker can be because they are desperately in need of a call back or correspondence from a counterpart. Or if you're that person, who like me, had waited month after month for nearly a year to get that job offer after umpteen final interview attempts. Patience. As beautifully necessary to survive, it flat out sucks.

The other weekend I worked a community arts and music festival. I met this woman who is eighty one years old. Twenty five years ago she listened to a band that was taking the stage as the last act of this year's event. She had told me that her and her husband heard this band play way back when and they performed a childhood favorite; a folk song that she remembered her Mom playing for her during early childhood, a song that meant so much to her. Since then she has yet to hear it played.

Twenty five years she searched record stores and music shops. For two and a half decades she sought out this childhood memory, but to no avail. Her husband told me in his delicately seasoned voice, from behind his wide black rimmed sunglasses, that they had called this band not too long ago to see if they'd play this one song for her...and they did. After twenty five years of what she had claimed was "completely worth it" she got what she had waited for. Twenty five years. That is patience.

Now just three weeks at my new job I look back at my lack of patience during nearly a year of searching and stressing for a job, a future and a chance of being a big kid again. I lacked patience. I wanted it now and I wanted it my way.

This story of the folk singing eighty one year old lady on a daunting two decade quest truly lives out the early message of Psalm 40.

"Surely, I wait for the Lord; who bends down to me and hears my cry, draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay, sets my feet upon rock, steadies my steps."

How often do we forget that all we must do is put our trust in someone so much greater, the most divine and the creator of our lives. Day after day we fret about the tiniest of details, and the pettiest of issues, only to be shown again that our fears, our wants and our desires are nothing in the grand scheme of things if we just have faith...and with that, patience. Coupled together the lives we live today will live on into eternity as we follow that righteous path.

Imagine waiting twenty five years for something..or even forty. I can't

This woman taught me so much by doing so little. Although she could have done a simple Google search and gotten what she wanted in only seconds, she was patient and found what she had been searching for. For me, it took seven months. For you, maybe longer. Our paths are all different, but all equally blessed in one way or another. We are reminded by scripture and this angelic woman that if we live our lives with patience and with a faithful heart we will be led to solid ground, brighter days and our journey steadied.

May God bless your journey. Fill your heart with the warmth of His word and spread His patience across your path...and if you're literally searching for something - let's say, like a specific song - try a quick Google search or enjoy the long journey ahead.

Until next time...

JC the Kung Fu fighting, faith filling, 'see and eye dog' super hero for the lost

After nearly eight restless months of being beaten to my knees exploring the rough seas of interviewing I have found a new career endeavor; a new mountain to climb; a new chapter in the journey.

A full year has gone by now since leaving ministry and it's still so hard to talk about. I close my eyes and remember the chorus of frustrations that sang out, the sadness that caused me to weep with those that I chose to leave behind and the times that exceeded my expectations only to be blinded by the things I couldn't talk about.

The past year has been an unpredictable roller coaster ride. It had its ups, and it surely had its downs, but through it all, my eyes have been closed. I was desperate to cross the lips of grace. Lost, but struggled to be found. Yet through friends, family and faith was able to push through.

Now as I stare at the ever-evolving journey that is my life, I look to see that during this moment of my life Christ was constantly, and humbly, hitting me across the face with a 4X4 of Truth while God would frequently sucker punch me in the gut just to remind it is His will that will be done, not my own.

Much like many of you, in times of heartache, anticipation and ruts we often forget that we don't go it alone in life. We look for signs in any place possible, but most times forgetting that we don't need signs, we need faith. For several months I prayed and prayed through it all for a sign. It's good that cell phone companies don't have a prayer plan, because I would have surely used up all the minutes, and then some, the first week of the job search. Let alone the countless hours of discernment with my parents after each resume was sent out, after each interview or any time I had an idea of how to survive this chapter of my life. All the times at the rec. when patrons, now my dear friends, would vibrantly ask for a career update. I would have tapped out enough minutes in discernment for myself in a thousand lifetimes. Yet, I still sought out a sign.

As I began to unpack my stuff in my new temporary home down in Columbus, I heard these words echoed out of my laptop speakers: "A year goes by, and I can't talk about it. On my knees, dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume, myself in this, I'm not faithless, just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose." These words caused me to stop my unpacking to begin in prayer as I listened to this song. For an entire year, I felt lost. Wandering the wretched streets of sorrow as I fought the tears of frustrations of where I was in my life.

The song continued on, "...And I'm praying that we will see, something there in between, then and there that exceeds all we can dream, so we can talk about it." How many times during the past year did I pray that I'd see so much more of my life, in between all that made me close my eyes? Through months of discernment of leaving ministry, a gut wrenching break-up, family troubles and praying to get through feeling like a failure as an adult I was able to stay positive and tackle it with my head held high.

We are constantly reminded that we never go it alone. Christ is there by our side. He says in Deuteronomy, "Be brave it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you, He will never fail you or forsake you (Deut. 31)." All those restless nights staying up worrying about what's to come I felt alone, scared and discouraged. Yet, everywhere I looked He was there. He was there in the people I met while working at the rec. Those friendly foes who opened up to share their own life stories, those adventures that gave witness to their own mountains that were forced to climb. He was there in the teens I led in the jr. high and high school ministries as we grew in faith together. He sang to me as I hiked the countless miles of trails back home. My eyes were closed, but he took me and led me through it all. He was there.

He goes on to proclaim: "It is the Lord who marches before you...So do not fear or be dismayed." A year has gone by and I still can't talk about it, but I survived. I came out alive. I came out on top. I came out alive. The sign I was looking for all along was there. He was there. Much like the story of the man who walked along the beach in Christ's footsteps, I too, walked step by step in His shadow.

As I finished listening to the song that had taken me from unpacking my new life, it finished with the message I needed. "And I'm praying that we will see, something there in between, then and there that exceeds all we can dream, so we can talk about it."

As we become lost along the way. Become beaten to our knees and striped of our pride, becoming faithless and full of fears, it is then that Christ walks closest with us. It is when we close our eyes, He shows his light the brightest. As we become deaf to His word he shouts it from the mountaintop. He is there.

Just as the song sand out, "another year has gone by," and now my eyes are open and I can talk about it. To all those, that helped me along the way, I thank you. To the ones who gave freely of themselves to help encourage and inspire, thank you. To those who gave me sight while I was blind, thank you. To those, who showed me hope as I became hopeless, I love you. For as I walk forward into this new chapter of my life, it is because of you I am ready and able to hit this next mountain head on. The sign I prayed to God for the past several months came through you. He was there with me all along. It is now that I realize it. Remembering the words of Thomas Merton, "though I may seem to be lost, and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my problems alone."

Thank you.


Until next time...

Why a mustard seed and not a Tic Tac?

There comes a time in everyone's life where you feel as if you're wandering among a dried-out field, saturated with misery and disarray. Dark and cold, the field is so far gone, so lonely, that it seems that nothing can ever grow and blossom into anything worth bearing any fruits.

For some of us, that hypothetical "field" - that cold, lonely, unforgiving stretch of our lives - might be taking on a new chapter of your life; going it alone and navigating it off the cuff, not knowing what's around each corner. For others it may be mourning the loss of a dear friend(s) or family member. While for someone else it may be just losing hope in whatever mountain it is you wait to climb, that path you're afraid to set out on. Right now, for me it is seeing where it is God calls me to be. Which righteous path it is He wants me to journey down. As I anxiously cling on to faith as my life raft this week.

As I went over next week's Gospel with the teens at YM last night, I couldn't help but find the anecdote I've been praying for. The reading comes from our buddy Mark. He shares of a time when Jesus was speaking to a crowd. He told them all that the Kingdom of Heaven is as if a man were to scatter seeds among the land. He doesn't know how, but through night and day, somehow, the seeds grow. First the blade, then the ear, and then the full grain in the ear...then the harvest comes.

Then he said: "It is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown in the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth. But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants and puts forth large branches, so that the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade."

Everyone then understood (in the Gospel), but not all of the teens. I was asked what a mustard seed was and why Jesus chose a mustard seed...and like any good YM...I quickly moved on and changed the subject of conversation.

I had the teens put out their hand and imagine a Tic Tac resting in the middle of it. Cut it in half I then said to them. Now you have the exact size of the seed of faith you need to plant. That tiny little seed, when planted, will grow and flourish into something you could never imagine. That little seed of nothingness can grow into something that bears great fruit, moves mountains and provide new life...through time.

The mustard seed is mentioned many times throughout the Gospels, my favorite coming from my main man Matt. He writes: "If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you would be able to say to this mountain, 'move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible for you."

It's hard to imagine that such a small seed can grow such fruits, even in a time of such drought. That little seed of faith can move mountains. Yet as we struggle with our day-to-day worries, we often forget that.

For me, as I worry about a thousand-and-one things this week I focus on that imaginary Tic Tac that I had each teen place in their hand. That tiny little seed that we must focus on replanting in the fields of fear and trepidation in our hearts. Then we will stand by, watch it grow and know that with just a the tiniest of faith we can look at that mountain that stands before us in our lives and say "move" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible.

That as you, in your life today, worry about wealth, fret about future endeavors, struggle with life's temptations or mourn the loss of someone close to you. There is that tiny seed of faith that needs planted in your life, in your heart. A seed no larger than half a Tic Tac. Once that small seed is planted, nothing will ever keep you from moving mountains; even if you're lost among the fields of nothingness, or lost in the shadow of death. Like Thomas Merton wrote: "I will not fear, for You are ever with me and You will never leave me to face my problems alone."

Amen.


Until next time...

Save Me - Teenager Statistics

Unfortunately, this is the sad truth of what it's like to be a teenager in today's world. Makes ya think a little bit about what is wrong and missing in our lives...

Truth should come with a hard hat and map

Life today is rough and I'm not talking about my personal life, but life in general.Present day life in 2012. There's a rough reality of everything from the economy to violence on our streets, violence in our schools, to frustrating political leaders, corrupt neighbors and everything in between.

Society seems to have an obsession with seeking out instant "miracle cures" to anxieties and everyday stressors. The common folk of today is in bed with the reality of not knowing what reality is. Teens seek to be adults before their bodies even begin to evolve into adult form yet adults are too scared to be adults, let alone be parents. While every night our news programs tease us, draw us in and hook us for a full hour with stories of sex, violence, crimes and political problems. No wonder we've evolved into the lackluster state of nothingness that is today's society.

I came across an excellent excerpt in a book that I am reading called Hardcore Zen that talks about seeking out Truth but more so reflects our society:

"The world is in deep shit right now. The only thing that can possibly save us from our own self-induced destruction is direct knowledge of the truth. I say that without any reservation at all. Mankind cannot survive unless the truth dawns - from within - in each and every one of us. No political solution, bellicose or peaceful, will ever save us. No law. No pact. No treaty. No war..."

Yet as we can all see the ever so changing landscape of our country and our society there seems to be talk of change, but nothing done or at least no unless there's another four years. As all this unfolds before our eyes like a prime time drama. Shrinks, counselors and bars are at record highs of customers in need of ways to find faith for a better day. Yet we have the Church on a decline. Faith ceases to exist in the lives of the vocal majority. The one place you can actually get a positive message, restore hope and love in your life and learn how to be the change, is no longer the focal point of our lives. Did you know that only about 31 percent of Catholics in the Diocese of Cleveland attend Mass regularly, yet we all cry out for help and claim to hold on to faith in our own lives when it's convenient or we have hit rock bottom? When I began this blog I didn't set out to make it all holy and spiritual yet it just seems to have grown into that. I've never been out spoken of my faith, not even when I was a YM, those people scare me. I am not those people. I will never those people. Yet, the more I see our world the more I see the meaning of faith in our lives.

I don't need another 24 hour news program or a group of "qualified experts" to tell me that our society is falling into a black hole of self inflicted doubt and that our kids are struggling to be heard. Just the other day during a prayer activity with the Jr. High class I teach I came across a whole slew of cries for help. Two of which brought tears to my eyes. The first read "I'm scared that no one loves me" and the other was "I'm skaired about talking to other people I don't usilay talk to." Others read about fitting in, and a few were in regards to being bullied. So aside from the obvious failure of the American educational system and spelling/ grammar classes, it is quite clear that not just in the case of the teens, but in our society we are missing two key pieces: Love and Service. Which happen to be the cornerstone of our faith...Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Muslim, etc.

Brad Warner, the author of Hardcore Zen, later wrote in the chapter that "politicians can't solve the problem of how to find their own asses with two hands and a flashlight, let alone figure out anything else more complex..." I think it's so true in many ways, not just for elected officials, but for all of us who are lost in life and I believe that if it weren't for Christ's teachings I would not be able to figure out anything here on Earth. Instead I'd have my two hands and a flashlight (I'm a hiker so probably my headlamp) attempting to find me arse, or at least trying hard to remove my head from it. I'm sure many would agree...and if you're offended or sitting there disagreeing most likely your head is up there so keep looking, I've got a flashlight.

We attempt, day after day, to seek out Truth and our purpose yet the main worry we should have is living each day like it were our last. Always seeking our adventure and living with a loving heart to serve others. Imagine the difference we would make if everyone lived to love and serve others...the world would be a beautiful place. People will buy self help books, take classes, spend countless dollars on life changing gimmicks, yet we don't consider starting with a simple conversation with the one who loves us the most, God.

This isn't a religious blog nor will I always preach, but what I will always portray in my writing is to always seek adventure and live life and for me there is no better way to accomplish both than by living it the way I was shown, the way we've all been shown. It's been written about, discussed, debated, preached studied and has survived for thousands of years and there's got to be a reason why it's still around after 2,000+ years. Live life and live it with love and a want to serve others in everything you do and nothing will stop you from truth and happiness. Take that, and a mustard seed of faith, and nothing will be impossible for you, that's how we change the world.

Until next time...

Pity party of one

There comes a time in your life when you are suddenly forced to stare down the barrel of a gun known as reality. It's like the portion of your hike where you are forced to follow a trail that you think should be the easiest, but becomes the most gut wrenching, grueling section. Where the end of the Alpine Zone meets the start of your final ascent towards the summit. You know, where the rocky terrain of no return begins. That time of your journey upwards where you can see the summit, it appears within your reach, but the finish line is nowhere in sight. Where at every bolder and every traverse comes loose rocks and blustery gusts of wind violently toss you around. The air is as frigidly cold as it is thin and lonely. That is where I am along this mountain I am currently on and it took me three days in the place I love most, several short comings and a hopeless bottle of emotions to bring it all to light.

For the first time in my life I could not wait to leave Columbus. If I could have, I would have left before it even began. I was actually happy to leave. Enter stage right, pity party #6. During the past few months, since returning home from the mountains of Maine and New Hampshire, I have been Mr. Positivity, only experiencing enough Pity Parties that could be counted on one hand. I've remained positive, vigilant and faithful along this journey up until the last few days.

It didn't hit me until talking to my spiritual director that we are often faced with these black out days of doubt just to remind us we are human, just to thank God for being with us along the way. I was not taken back when I heard my spiritual director tell me that he has "been waiting for me to come down from all my positivity." It was then that I was again reminded that it is not my Will that shall be done, but for someone much more righteous than I.

One of my favorite musicians, Matisyahu, puts it best "Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds,I know some day it'll all turn around, because all my life I've been waiting for, I've been praying for..." It took recently downloading this song, a trip chalk full of mislead expectations and personal wants, and a phone call to my spiritual director to be reminded that it is not my way that will make me happy, but His. Not to mention a perfect reminder from one of this weekend's readings. It comes from Isiah:

Thus says the LORD: Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers. The people I formed for myself, that they might announce my praise. Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob, for you grew weary of me, O Israel. You burdened me with your sins, and wearied me with your crimes. It is I, I, who wipe out, for my own sake, your offenses; your sins I remember no more.

It's funny that as I imagine myself a candle trying to stay lit among a hurricane of questions, temptations and fantasies of how life is "supposed to be" God just takes a 2x4 and just whacks me in the face to remind me of His words that he will help me, guide me and give forgiveness along the way. A humble reminder as I prepare for the coming Lenten season. A season where we are called to give alms (serve others), pray (talk to the Lord) and fast (sacrifice).

That as I begin another pity party for myself I see that there is no better time to continue on this path towards the mountain's top than now. There is no better way to seek out the remainder of this grueling trek through uncharted territory than to give to Him through alms giving, prayer (only He knows how much of that has been going on and how many expletives have been shared) and fasting. It's only wrong for me to think that I can do it my way and only by myself.

Just as Matisyahu puts it in his song 'Silence' "...Although His silence kills me...I wouldn't have it any other way..." and right now I wouldn't have it any other way.

Until next time...

Climbing life's mountains

Recently I was told to begin a blog...I'm not a fan, nor do I believe I have something promising or profound to share with the world of strangers, friends and adventurers, but I figured life's an adventure, let's give it the ol' college try.

Last week I spoke at a youth retreat out at Camp Christopher and we were talking about discipleship and living a life worth living. It wasn't until I prepared for the talk that I came to the realization that life is a lot like climbing mountain after mountain and never ceasing to stop wanting to climb higher along the path set forth for you.

Here's a bit of my talk:

Back in the spring I was faced with a time where I was challenged: professionally, personally, spiritually and in every other facet of my life. I was on my journey and quickly came across many obstacles that prohibited me from reaching my mountaintop.

I had been a Youth Minister for two year and doing great things, but after a while, and for a thousand-and-one reasons, I was beginning to feel beat down personally, professionally and spiritually. At the same time I was talking about proposing to my girlfriend. Then one day everything just began to unravel. Work got worse, so I quit. My relationship went south, and quick, so we broke up. It took months to get over her and I still struggle. My cousin was in and out of jail and rehab for an addiction to drugs and stealing. My grandfather’s health was getting worse. I was still living at home. My friends were getting great, successful jobs. Some even were beginning to get married. Everything just sucked.

Yet through all of it, I stayed humbled and passionate to overcome all of it. I prayed whenever I got scared. I met with my spiritual director regularly. It took months but I weighed all my options and made sure I was making the healthiest choices for me and I decided to do exactly what Jesus does many times in the Bible...I left the craziness of life and headed for the mountains.

I moved out to Maine and for four months and lead back packing trips in the mountains and back country of Maine and New Hampshire. I climbed a dozen mountains and backpacked hundreds of miles of trails. It was my opportunity to escape everything that happened and refocus all my energy and strengthen my relationship with God. I had remained faithful, but I also had to work on surrendering myself to His will, his plan he had for me. That was hard for me to fathom. It’s easy to want to live out our own “plan” for our lives and it’s just as easy to blame God for all that is wrong in my life, but it takes so much just to surrender yourself and say: “Lord, I am yours. I am here for you and I know that in my darkest hour you will guide me back to the trail that I am on for this journey. I surrender to you..."

...As I lived out my adventure this summer it taught me many things, but gave me time to seek out answers. Strive for so much more and keep me from living a life of fear. When I wasn’t on the trails I was helping at the high ropes course, conquering my fear of heights. I kayaked during a hurricane just to experience the rush of attacking what God’s furry had to offer, wearing a speedo, aviators and a smile. I lived a summer where I pushed my limits knowing that if I truly surrender myself to the Lord I have nothing to fear...

...Along our journey we need faith in God to stay positive, when we’re hungry we need the Eucharist, when we feel lost we need prayer. Whether we are on or off the trail we can’t do it alone, we can’t survive on our own and that’s why we must be committed to being disciples. To always know that we are here for God as he is always here for us along the way.

I still struggle with living out His plan instead of mine and I still fall on my face, but to succeed in life you need to fall and learn how to pick yourself back up. No one ever said it would be easy, but with knowledge of the Lord’s love, my trust in His plan and my faith in Him nothing will get in my way...

Until next time...