Back in August I lost my brother to a massive heart attack. I had a step brother that I never lived with and many of my friends didn't know I had. We were separated by ten years and nearly two thousand miles. Not until recently have I found myself wanting to see him, call him and just have him present. Even though he wasn't ever around for a good portion of my life, except for the past few years as we grew closer in my adulthood.
The other morning, not more than a few moments before I woke to go to work did I see him. As my body began to awake by my internal clock and I could feel the pain of waking I went into a quick dream. One that I'd like to share with you.
I was in a car traveling along a beautiful highway sitting comfortably as a passenger in a driver-less car. It was a warm, picture perfect day. The road I traveled was surrounded by an angelic blend of blues, greens and greys. The car was traveling down a road the sliced through a vibrant forest of towering trees, with a large mountain range set behind and nestled below it all was a pristine lake.
As I turned my attention from the heavenly sight back into the car with a car without a driver, I noticed that I was no longer alone. I had been joined by my brother who was now sitting behind the wheel. Because it was a dream I don't remember what was said exactly, but I remember telling him how much I missed him and how much hurt I felt knowing that my big bro was gone. For what felt like hours I sat in the car with him, he felt near, present and I remember actually physically crying as my alarm went off to wake me up.
Just as I began to awake and leave the presence of him he looked at me, and in his loving, big brother tone, said to me: "I'm here. I'll always be near and I'll always be with you." Then I woke up. Sweating and wiping the tears from my face a grew confident and loved.
I share this with you for two reasons. One, I've come to realize (and I'm man enough to share this to all two follower - Thanks Mom and Mom's friend) that there is nothing more refreshing than a good cry. Although this was only brief, it's a relieving expression that we often associate with negative, but why?
Secondly, I share this with you, because I'm now twenty seven years. If you're like me, many of your friends are engaged or just getting engaged...and according to Facebook this week, four friends got engaged this week. But if you're like me you might be struggling with the loss of a loved one, or have someone in your life who is ill or struggling with life. Maybe you're losing your grip on uncontrollable aspects of your life or projects at work. Maybe the Christmas season, and barrage of jewelry commercials, is making you lonely.
Regardless, the dream reminded me that I'm not alone, far from it actually. Although I miss my big bro, he's very much with me. Maybe even more near now than he ever was. The dream was an excellent reminder that no matter where we are in our lives, we aren't alone along our journey. It just took a dream with an angel behind the wheel to remind me that when we feel the farthest from a loved one who has passed, or from our friends/ family or even alone from God that there truly is always someone looking over you.
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