Man: (1): an individual human; adult male human (2): husband (3): lover hominid: one possessing in high degree the qualities considered distinctive of manhood: the quality or state of being manly: manliness.
I am not a man. I am not a man's man. Nor am I manly, but I sure as hell try my hardest. I am not the ultimate man, an alpha male or anything but a guy on a quest to follow in the footsteps of many men who have come before me in pursuit of seeking out how to be a man, the best man I can be.
This week has been a wonderful opportunity in the pursuit of becoming the man I want to be. It involved manly workouts, an interview for a cool job, a talk from Fr. Larry Richards about surrendering/ being a man and a "mans weekend" with my Dad and other guys whose wives are all out of town on a girls weekend. All in all this week got me thinking. What has happened to men and masculinity? Mostly my generation
I watched another Super Bowl where the commercials portrayed men as weak, uncivilized, inferior, playing second fiddle to women and dumber than a Hollywood A-lister talking politics and family values. Yet it seems like we, as males, except this and enjoy this depiction...why?
We live in a day in age where a man no longer is the protector and provider in the family. Where a man must be tamed, equal and exhibit femininity to be "acceptable" by social standards. We live in a society that deems a man of faith as a religious zealot - instead of disciple, a man who explores the deepest depths of the world's precious beauty as a social outcast - instead of explore and a man who is destined to make a difference in the world as a renegade inspired by becoming the alpha male - instead of a revolutionary.
PSA: I am a gentleman. I have no qualms with women and believe men and women alike are equal. I respect women and believe they've earned the right to have the equality they have gotten through a tough fight...I digress.
Fr. Larry Richards brought up a good point in his talk Thursday: It wasn't Eve's fault for giving into temptation in the garden, it was Adam for he failed to protect Eve, jump in front of her and defend her. It's been a gradual decline ever since. Men, of my generation, no longer have a voice. A spirit. A sense of adventure. A need for more. A drive to grab life's challenges by the throat and toss them aside. A desire to be the hero. A backbone to take a stand and bring back faith as their foundation of their lives. To suck up their ego and attempt to emulate Christ in every way. To live a principled, morally driven life. The days of old are long gone. Men like Washington, Jefferson, Thoreau, MLK, Wayne, Sinatra, Reagan are mere images of masculinity's past. Men who laid the foundation for true manliness.
Just the other day I set out on a hike. I had all afternoon and a short hike ended up being nearly 11 miles just to introduce some sort of adventure into these early days of February. I just kept going. Turn after turn, ascent after descent I kept making my way deeper into the quiet world of nature. It was glorious. And as I mentioned from the start I am not a man, nor am I a "man's man," but I came to a creek I had to cross. I was unable to follow the trail across as it was too deep, between knee level to more than four feet, and too cold to attempt. I searched for a way across and decided the only way to get across, dry, was to improvise a bridge. For 30 or 40 minutes I collected long branches, heavy logs and anything I could to create a sturdy structure. I was muddy, sweaty and wet but with my knack of adventure and my drive to not back down from a challenge I got over just as many explorers did many times before.
My point is not that I was handed a "man card" and officially welcomed into manhood, but that it's time we put down the Xbox controllers, turn off our flat screen TVs, unplug our laptops, silence our Blackberrys and put aside our egos. Let's kick it old school and bring back the true meaning of being men. Let's explore the world, seek out answers, become the protector and provider for our family. It's time that we become men: physically, mentally, intellectually and most importantly spiritually.
For if you show me a man who is founded by faith, driven by adventure, living through love and seeking out the most out of life, you'll be shown a guy worthy of being called a man.
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