Livin' la Vida...?

Here's a morbid, yet fun thought (in a twisted kind of way): Have you ever thought about how you might one day die? Seriously, think about it. When I left work today a nice thunderstorm rolled in. Bright bolts of lightening electrified that gusty late afternoon sky and I couldn't help but think to myself what if I were to get struck right here, right now by lightening? That would straight up suck. Game over. That simple, somewhat unsettling question made me think though. How will I one day die? Would it be in a stampede of wild animals off on a hike somewhere (that's an honorable and manly way to go), would it be heroic final act or would it be peaceful. Beyond the sickening thoughts another popped into my mind. However I may one day go, how will I be remembered? How will the way that I lived my life shape my legacy?

Think about it...really, just think about those two questions.

Frank Sinatra tells us that we have to "enjoy livin' cuz dyin' is a pain in the ass" and "that's life." But is it. Another interesting thought came into my mind earlier today. If someone asked me today "what do you do for living?" how would I answer that question? Again, think about that one. Chew on it for a minute. Would you state your profession. "Well, I'm a (fill in the career..." or would you say "You know what? I never gave it much thought."

I thought about that today and I haven't settled on one good answer. It's too tough. On the surface the easiest answer(s) would be that I'm an events coordinator and I'm a youth minister (kinda). But in all reality that's not 'my living.' I know the government tells me to live to pay taxes and keep the country running. I'm told by society to live to work, to marry and to one day retire. I know that spiritually I'm called to offer myself as a 'living sacrifice,' to worship and not conform my life to this world, but to discern the will of God (Romans 12:2) and blah blah blah.

Because this thought followed me most of the afternoon, coupled together with the thought of being struck by lightening and the legacy I'd leave behind, I realized what I believe to be the start of what my living is:

What do I do for a living? Well, first off I live. I live each day in case it were my last, like I might not wake up tomorrow morning. I live each day to love (unless you're a gal I've gone out with and never called me back), to serve those in need and please those around me, those I meet and everyone else I may stumble across. I might not always be patient, appropriate or friendly, but sure as hell give it the old college try. For a living I attempt to be a compassionate companion in the rat race of life (unless you tailgate me). I live to learn from my mistakes (and I'm sorry to those I've hurt along the way or failed). My living is to one day find all the riches of the world, achieve my purpose and pass the final exam of life that determines if my 'living' was truly lived out... to get into the country club high in the sky known as Heaven. For I know that all things work for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).

In the wise words of Mr. Ricky Martin we should be "livin' la vida loca," also known as live the crazy life...for me it's to livin' la vida Lofy, livin' the Lofy life (whatever that may be). Today, think about your life and what you do for a living. What's the legacy you'll live behind; Based off the life you lived how will you be remembered? Think about it and when it starts to make sense think about it some more, because you don't know. I'm still thinking away. Smoke is coming out of my ears right now I'm thinking so hard and I've already begun to write amendments and edits to what my living is. And remember just keep livin' la vida...



Until next time...

Social ME-Di-UH!

It’s not news to hear that Social Media rules our day and age. Look at any print advertisement and you’ll see an accompaniment of logos for Social Media sites. We’ve become consumed by the craze, which for some has become second nature behind breathing and eating. Professionally we believe that the more Social Media the more support from consumers. Personally, we believe the more we update the world on our love life, personal accomplishments and motivating song lyrics the more satisfied we feel…like we are some sort of D-list celebrity with important things to share with the world. A friend recently posted that “Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.” Social Media has become a constant in our daily lives and our daily lives have been constantly planned around Social Media.

It’s also no surprise that as we broadcast to the world, and to our ‘friends’ that follow us, we also open ourselves to the risk of a world of hurtfulness and all the stressing over how we stack up towards our friends, all the while diluting our ability to actually be able to handle true relationships with others. I think my friend’s post was wrong. Facebook is like the fridge of a bachelor (i.e. Me), I’ll keep putting food into it and keep checking it, but it always leaves me empty.

If it’s so easy to open up to ‘friends’ and complete strangers through Social Media why is it such a struggle for many to warm up to broadcasting our thoughts, thankfulness and temptations to someone who truly follows us every hour of every day? He tells us that whether He remains seen or distant in our own lives we should strive to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27-28). It is only when we draw near in confidence towards His grace that we may one day receive His mercy and find His grace in our time of need (Hebrews 4: 16). The man is practically an inspirational status update generator for those pick me up quotes when we’re down…and the best part is we don’t have to sign in to read them, there’s no passwords keeping us from them and there’s no pesky updates we don’t understand because His grace hasn’t changed for two thousand years.

As technology grows, Social Media becomes more and more ingrained in our daily lives. The faster life picks up the more stress we put upon ourselves to keep up with these needs. The more stressed and stretched thin, the easier it is to consume ourselves with the needs of x, y and z. With that brings personal pain, social stresses, loneliness and the abandonment of our pride. Now is the time for us to pull back from the poking, posting and pain of Social Media and begin forming true relationships, one’s that don’t leave us empty. Relationships built on love, compassion and purpose. It is the Holy Spirit who says, “I love those who love me (Proverbs 8:17),” “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest (Exodus 33:14),” and the One who says “through prayer be social with me, duh! (This guy).”

You Can Learn A Lot About Faith From Inside A Mosh Pit

If you've ever been to a hard rock concert you know that there are customary things that you'll be forced to endure. First, you're going to see an onslaught of angry, confused looking teens that strive to look different than their classmates, but look just like their best friends, or you'll see twenty somethings still dressing like a teen doing all the same stuff and most likely works at a coffee shop as a barista. Next, you'll feel you walked into a Converse shoes convention with every pair of Chuck Taylors ever made being modeled and that's a guarantee. Lastly, you'll leave amped up, sweaty, partially deaf and of course, there will always be a mosh pit that breaks out...and no mater where you're standing you'll be tossed in.

While I was hiking and (responsibly) drinking my way through Denver we went to see the band Trapt play a show. For those of you who don't know who Trapt is, or you're having a flashback to high school and the late 90s,they were a hard rock band that had three big hits when I was about 15. The show was only 10 bucks and a unique way to enjoy the final night in the city that captured my heart. Song after song the pit grew larger and a bit more vibrant. As the rambunctious group of rockers continued to flail about and push each other around one brave soul walked around the center of the madness and scoffed at what was happening around him. This big dude just stood tall amidst the festivities of the pit, stayed his course and did his own thing. The best part...no one dared to bump into him as he walked among the madness.

I respected the crap out of him for doing that. If that were me, I would have been knocked down the moment I stepped in. But he went about his business and did his own thing. What I saw stuck with me. Here's a guy surrounded by chaos and disorder, but it didn't phase him. The fear of being knocked down or humiliated didn't stop him. On the drive after the show I admired the Denver skyline as much as I did this cat as I reflected of what I saw.

Every day of our lives we struggle with the stessers we face and we falter to our fears, all the while making it so damn hard to stay the course. It's like we're stuck smack dab in the middle of a mosh pit, being pushed around, taking elbows to our pride and frequently getting knocked to our knees. Some times it's a chore to find the motivation to just pick yourself up. It's at those times I wish I could be more like the Hulk-asourous that braved the pit and all the painful abuse that surrounded him. It becomes such a spiritual struggle when you are constantly being pushed around and faced with constant gut checks. It's those times we have to remind ourselves that we have the strength to take on everything that is thrown our way because we are empowered through Him (Phil 4:11). That when we struggle to walk tall among the ruthless 'moshiness' that is all around us we must rely on the Big Guy and His mightiness as we seek Him through it all(1 Chronicles 16:11).

Watching that guy during that set inspired me. I know, I know, it was just some dude at a rock concert. For all I know he could have been driven by beer muscles or be a bully looking to fight or just straight up dumb, but he manned up and stayed strong with everything around him. Most likely not afraid to be bumped around or knocked to his knees. If you're like me, that's my fear. Being knocked to my knees and taking the initial hit and then the hit to the pride, but it's not so bad. I can think of someone else who had fallen to his knees, not once, not twice, but thrice. He was able to pick himself up and keep going. Just like I should and how you should.

May we always be strong in our faith and steadfast in our ways. No matter the amount of craziness surrounding you in your life, may you walk tall. And let us not grow tired of doing good, for in due time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9) no matter how hard we are knocked down or how often we take the hits.



Until next time...

The Garden of Weedin'

This spring I took on a new endeavor of getting a plot in a local community garden. After cooking all winter with 'fresh' veggies and herbs from the store I would have a trash can full of wrappers and a recycling bin piled high with cans. Then it hit me that it would be so cool to take on a garden...until I stood at the edge of the garden for the first time and had to weed the damn thing.

When I visited the plot after some time away an entire forest of greenery had grown around my plants. I knelt on the hard, cracked dirt to pull weeds around my 'harvest.' As I fought off the discomfort of kneeling for a couple hours on a thin piece of foam it dawned on me how unbelievably frustrating this whole thing seems. In the grand scheme of things a 20x20 plot is truly nothing, but doing it alone - and without a clue of what I'm doing - seems damn near impossible.

The ground was tough to break through and the dense weeds appeared to stand taller, as if sticking its chest out in the air to boast that it had beaten me. The moment that I thought I was making progress I looked beyond the three foot radius of my initial assault on the annoying agriculture only to see that I had another 391 square feet to go. It was discouraging, demoralizing and worst of all, painful. I felt alone on a tiny dirt island of doubt thinking that maybe I had taken on too much as I was surrounded by a sea of green leafy weeds.

Near the end of my late afternoon’s work, I arrived at my final plant. A hot pepper plant, standing nearly one foot tall. On it, hidden underneath a flawlessly shaped leaf, was the tiniest little thing that almost resembled a miniature pepper. A pepper that two weeks ago did not exist and around that plant was the intoxicating aroma of the spicy cilantro from nearly three feet away.

When I had finished weeding I watered the little guy and the other sprouting veggies, herbs and melon surrounding it. Then it hit me that maybe, just maybe, all the sweat, pain and sun could be worth it. That even through the pulling of the weeds (that will grow back in a few days) and muscling through the man eating garden spiders and laughing off the old retired men at the plots around me laughing at my attempts to garden, just maybe this will be blossom into a bountiful harvest. An end of summer reward for all the long hours, hot days and frustrating fun in the sun.

Our faith is a lot like my garden endeavor if you think about it. In order to have a great harvest you can't just sprinkle a little water on your plot every once in a while and expect a great outcome; much like you can't pray every once and again to expect miracles or a relationship with God to blossom in your life. In attempting to grow spiritually you will feel weak and intimidated, lost and alone, doubtful and distraught, just as any true warrior of the top soil may feel taking on the forest of constantly growing weeds. Our weaknesses towards certain temptations creep up as quick as those weeds; that no matter how many times you pull them, and no matter what you do to treat them, they always seem to creep their way back.

In Matt we read that the harvest is “abundant but the laborers are few (Matt 9:37).” There is so much goodness for us to receive in our own lives as long as we are following the righteous path and living a life full of love, but so few willing to take on the task. The harvest can be daunting, overwhelming and lonely, much as it was when I first stepped foot in the plot overwhelmed by what stood before me. I went into the task of gardening knowing that I’d pull some weeds, water some plants and boom…I’d have food. But it’s not that easy nor that simple, just like our faith. In our own lives we know exactly what it is we need to do (on paper) to be happy, to love and to get into Heaven, but we still become overwhelmed by the realization that we actually don’t know how to do it properly. The Bible, just like a Gardening for Idiots book, explains to us what to do along the way and how to overcome many different challenges, it’s just a matter of us properly following what has been shared and then applying it daily.

Even the best of gardeners and farmers have a lousy harvest from time to time and even the most disciplined of theologians struggle spiritually. It’s just a matter of us trying to keep those pesky weeds and weaknesses at bay by getting to them at their roots. And to do more than just sprinkle a little water from time to time or pray when we only want something. We must overcome the weeds in our lives and love daily, even through the hate, the disgust and the pain. It is then, and only then, that along our path we may see the fruits of our labors and see how truly abundant the harvest truly is. It just takes overcoming one weed at a time.



But we must always remember that no matter how many weeds surround our harvest and no matter how much we must endure to see the fruits of our labor

The Sunbury Speedway Incident

On my way home from work a few Fridays ago I was cut off by an SUV. My drive to and from work takes me along a wonderful four lane road that has a grassy median and a breathtaking view of a lake. During my drive this guy sped up to tailgate the person in the lane next to me then proceeded to cut into my lane only to hit the brakes due to slowing traffic up ahead. In a calm, yet defensive manner I hit the brakes and as I put my hands up in the air let out a "Come one.”

Seeing my displeasure, the Mario Andretti of the yuppie mobile slowed down -10 under the speed limit to be exact - and gave me a single finger salute of endearment. I laughed it off as I attempted to pass him to avoid his petty game only to have him speed up, boxing me in with the car next to me.

On the remainder of my drive home my wheels turned in my head as fast as the ones on my car. What will be my next post, I thought. The past weeks I've spent so much time in personal reflection and discernment about my life and the direction I'm "called" and "wanting" to take, as well as my writing and what the next step will be for me. I’m nearly finished with the application process for grad school and I’m beginning my search for a literary agent for my manuscript, among a few other life adventures. But here's what I pondered after my classroom session in the confines of my car:

It's funny how in life parents give kids a time out for their tomfoolery, teachers can toss out detentions to students for being dumb, during a guy’s night you can pull a buddy’s ‘Man Card’ for acts that are less than manly or for acts that are weak-sauce-applesauce…or for any man who ever says something as stupid as weak-sauce-applesauce.

But wouldn’t it be great to be able to pull out the ‘You’re a Dumbass’ card to give to someone when they’re… a dumbass and be able to do it without fear of being beaten up or retaliated against. What about if you could have the ability to shrink someone - like in the game of Mario - so that after someone commits an act of doochery you could press a button and shrink them to about two inches high for about five minutes so you can literally walk all over the person who attempted to walk all over you…or in my case, who nearly caused an accident.
Or, better yet, wouldn’t it be great if people just exhibited a bit more humility?

In the book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis wrote that “true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” It's so simple to say, yet so challenging to live out, but just imagine the world we live in if there was more humility exhibited. A world where people thought less about their own self-interests and focused more on how they could better the others around them.
There wouldn't be as much crime, war and hate. There would be more married couples than divorced and single. Governments could learn to work with and support one another...and properly, not politically, support their own citizens. It is through humility that we can put aside ourselves to better love, serve and lead others.

One of my favorite writers, Ralph Waldo Emerson, put it in simpler terms saying that “a great man is always willing to be little.” Imagine the humility it takes to back down after being run off the road or being walked all over at work or being one upped by your friend who is a one upper. Being the bigger person also means being the one to take a step back and at times swallowing your pride. If that doesn’t work you could always whip out your “You’re a Dumbass card.”

Temperance Can Kiss My Assisi

I led a small group during a high school retreat earlier this year consisting mostly of freshmen guys and gals. We had an exceptionally spirited conversation about weaknesses and worries in regards to our faith.

“What is keeping us from growing in our faith?’ I asked the group.

Everyone shared text book responses just barely skimming the surface of the topic. Then out of a nowhere came the most profound statement that stopped the conversation in its tracks. This young man - a shy, sometimes awkward freshman boy - interrupted and shared with what has kept him from growing in all aspects of his life.

"I think the biggest thing keeping me from growing personally and spiritually in my life is temptation," is how he began. I figured he was going to list off all the big ones I've heard time and time again on retreats. The same old anger towards parents, lust, contributing to rumors and gossip, pornography, the list goes on. He continued, "Not just temptation as a whole, but the temptation to wait until tomorrow."

Bam, this from a fourteen year old who hasn't even experienced the roller coaster ride of hormones, testosterone and strife most adults have to endure to achieve such deep discernment. Like most people, I drag my feet and push the important items to tomorrow or the weekend. For example, the application for grad school that I’ve put off since January and the three years of discerning that prolonged it all. The second round edits to my manuscript that I’ve put off for a few months now to send to potential literary agents.

"I think the worst mistake we can make in our lives,” continued the pimply faced preacher, “Is to give into that temptation where we think we can 'do it' tomorrow, whatever it is we put off. For me, it's deepening my relationship with the Lord."

We all have our own personal struggles and weaknesses. Some of us have our own demons that we wrestle with daily. The simple truth is that we are all faced with our own temptations and we fall victim to them more than we’d like to admit.

It was said that St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, the environment and being a complete bad ass, was just like any male who struggles of suggestions of impurity. At times of weakness he would roll around in the snow to fight off falling to his temptations and if wasn't winter he'd just toss himself unto a thorn bush. Although I respect his discipline, I'm not sure I'd ever cause physical harm to myself, or risk pneumonia, to avoid losing the mini battle to temptation, but in order to fight temptation we need more than just good intentions, because even those grow weak.

The steps he took were a tad hardcore, but truly inspiring. In order for us to fight the good fight and win against temperance we must start by taking a page out of his holy play book. Find that motivating factor that keeps us strong at those moments we feel the weakest.

St. Francis was a simple man, with a simple mission, to walk in the footsteps of Christ. Yet he still struggled with his battles with temptation. We all do. We’re only human. What is it that you’re struggling with and tempted by the most? Once you can accept your weakness and can consciously agree that you want to persevere then you need to kick its Assisi and not be tempted to wait until tomorrow.

The Cardinal Rule: Break through the Damn Glass

Tonight before scripture study I stopped in the sanctuary to pray. As I knelt before the Tabernacle my prayer was interrupted by a loud tap on the glass of the window behind me. It didn't keep me from my deep reflection of my life, my struggles and the stresses of my life today. Just as I felt it was getting somewhere the loud tap turned into a flutter of banging against what ended up being the window of the emergency exit door. After pausing my prayer, and the progress of unloading my feelings, I turned towards the far back corner of the Church.

A curious cardinal hovering outside the door was staring inside the Church. Every few seconds the fire truck red bird would make a dash towards the Church only to be swatted away by the glass of the door. After a few moments of being discouraged, rattled and attempting to catch his breadth the feathered friend tried again...and again to no avail. After watching this guy for nearly ten minutes attempt to get in, rest upon the pine tree, try again, hover while fighting his displeasure and trying again, he flew off. He had had enough.

My prayer didn't come in the form of a conversation with God tonight. It came through the cheeky sense of humor from the Big Guy as I witness a concussed bird attempt to break into the Church. That cardinal, was me, and that cardinal was you. Like that cardinal we so often see what it is we need to do to become a better person spiritually, professionally and personally. Like that cardinal we know what we must do to follow that righteous path or to become a better husband or wife but are kept form doing so. Like that cardinal we see those things, but can't seem to get their because there's this glass wall that separates us from point A to point B. The window that allows us to see our destiny, but is the barrier of truly living out our beliefs. Just like that cardinal we try and try and try, then get discouraged.

But the difference between us and that cardinal is that we have strength. We have love. We have a heart that burns with passion. We have been taught that perfect love trumps fear and we see that in the love and life of Christ that we are called to imitate. Being equipped with a love that conquers fear we can break through that damn wall that keeps us from our path.

For me it's figuring out "the next step" in my life as I discern my options and fears of grad school. It's also in the form of knowing where I'd like to see my writing go, but being afraid of the path I must follow to get it there. What is that wall keeping you from conquering in your life? Where is it you're supposed to be? Why are you still banging your head against it?

That bird got discouraged after ten minutes of beating his head against the door...I know the feeling...I tend to beat myself up over a lot of things. What that cardinal didn't know was that I had walked closer to the door and could have let him in, but he flew away before I could help. We have someone waiting on the other side who will never give up on us and is always calling us to enter in. Let nothing hold you back, no matter how many times you fail to break through the glass door that is holding you back.


Until next time...